April 28th, 2009
For a leader, honesty and integrity are absolutely essential to survival. A lot of business people don’t realize how closely they’re being watched by their subordinates. Remember when you were a kid in grammar school, how you used to sit there staring at your teacher all day? By the end of the school year, you could do a perfect imitation of all your teacher’s mannerisms. You were aware of the slightest nuances in your teacher’s voice – all the little clues that distinguished levels of meaning that told you the difference between bluff and “now I mean business”.
And you were able to do that after eight or nine months of observation. Suppose you had five or 10 years. Do you think there would have been anything about your teacher you didn’t know?
Now fast forward and use that analogy as a manager. Do you think there’s anything your people don’t know about you right this minute? If you haven’t been totally aboveboard and honest with them, do you really think you’ve gotten away with it? Not too likely. But if you’ve been led to believe that you’ve gotten away with it, there might be a good probability that people are afraid of you, and that’s a problem in its own right.
But there is another side of this coin. In any organization, people want to believe in their leaders. If you give them reason to trust you, they’re not going to go looking for reasons to think otherwise, and they’ll be just as perceptive about your positive qualities as they are about the negative ones.
A situation that happened some years ago at a company in the Midwest illustrates this perfectly. The wife of a new employee experienced complications in the delivery of a baby. There was a medical bill of more than $10,000, and the health insurance company didn’t want to cover it. The employee hadn’t been on the payroll long enough, the pregnancy was a preexisting condition, etc,etc,..
In any case, the employee was desperate. He approached the company CEO and asked him to talk to the insurance people. The CEO agreed, and the next thing the employee knew, the bill was gone and the charges were rescinded.
Then he told some colleagues about the way the CEO had so readily used his influence with the insurance company, they just shook their heads and smiled. The CEO had paid the bill out of his own pocket, and everybody knew it, no matter how quietly it had been done.
Now an act of dishonesty can’t be hidden either, and it will instantly undermine the authority of a leader. But an act of integrity and kindness like the example above is just as obvious to all concerned. When you’re in a leadership position, you have the choice of how you will be seen, but you will be seen one way or the other, make no mistake about it.
One of the most challenging areas of leadership is your family. Leadership of a family demands even higher standards of honesty and integrity, and the stakes are higher too. You can replace disgruntled employees and start over. You can even get a new job for yourself, if it comes to that. But your family can’t be shuffled like a deck of cards. If you haven’t noticed, kids are great moral philosophers, especially as they get into adolescence. They’re determined to discover and expose any kind of hypocrisy, phoniness, or lack of integrity on the part of authority figures, and if we’re parents, that means us. It’s frightening how unforgiving kids can be about this, but it really isn’t a conscious decision on their part; it’s just a necessary phase of growing up.
They’re testing everything, especially their parents.
As a person of integrity yourself, you’ll find it easy to teach integrity to your kids, and they in turn will find it easy to accept you as a teacher. This is a great opportunity and also a supreme responsibility, because kids simply must be taught to tell the truth: to mean what they say and to say what they mean.
Praise is one of the world’s most effective teaching and leadership tools. Criticism and blame, even if deserved, are counterproductive unless all other approaches have failed.
Now for the other side of the equation, we all know people who have gotten ahead as a result of dishonest or unethical behavior. When you’re a kid, you might naively think that never happens, but when you get older, you realize that it does. Then you think you’ve really wised up. But that’s not the real end of it. When you get older, you see the long-term consequences of dishonest gain, and you realize that in the end it doesn’t pay.
“Hope of dishonest gain is the beginning of loss.’ I don’t think that old saying refers to loss of money. I think it actually means loss of self-respect. You can have all the material things in the world, but if you’ve lost respect for yourself, what do you really have? The only way to ever attain success and enjoy it is to achieve it honestly with pride in what you’ve done.
This isn’t just a sermon, it’s very practical advice. Not only can you take it to heart – you can take it to the bank.
Tags: crm, employee recognition program, incentive, praise, rewards
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December 20th, 2008
One of my all-time favorite aphorisms is: “A pat on the back accomplishes more than a slap in the face.” Recently I saw it stated a little differently: “A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.”
In this uncertain job market, with employees worrying about the health of their companies and their own futures, encouragement is especially reassuring. In tough economic times, when companies need to re-evaluate raises and bonuses, a positive word can ease tensions and promote productivity.
Send a signal that someone is incompetent or bad at something and you have destroyed almost every incentive to improve. Hey, if the boss already thinks you are an idiot, do you stand a chance?
However, encourage that person and he or she will work even harder to excel. It is possible, and desirable, to criticize errors without destroying an employee’s confidence. A person may not be as good as you tell her she is, but she’ll try harder thereafter and achieve even more.
When was the last time you said any of the following? “You did a terrific job.” “I’m sorry.” “I was wrong.” “I forgive you.” “I believe you.” “I appreciate all that you’re doing.” “You make me proud.” If you can’t remember using these phrases, you’ve got some retooling to do.
The late Mary Kay Ash, the cosmetics giant, was a champion motivator and a “people person” if I ever met one. She put it this way: “The two things people want more than sex or money are recognition and praise.”
The cost of giving sincere praise is next to nothing, but a recent study has found that the payoff can be huge.
Employees want to be praised because it means they can be seen as competent, hardworking members of the team. Good managers want satisfied, motivated and productive staff members.
A Personnel Today survey of 350 human resources professionals found that the greatest factor in workplace productivity is a positive environment in which employees feel appreciated. The survey reports that two-thirds of the respondents said they felt a lot more productive when they received recognition for their work, while the remainder said they felt a little more productive.
Just feeling productive can be motivating in itself. When workers don’t feel productive, frustration sets in, according to 84 percent of the survey respondents. Twenty percent said they felt angry or depressed when they weren’t able to work as hard as they could.
Here are three tips for providing praise effectively:
- Be sincere. Give praise only where it is due. Workers can spot phony sentiments, and resent the implication that they are so gullible that they would fall for such flattery. The Greeks have a saying: “Many know how to flatter; few know how to praise.” Learn the difference.
- Give public praise. Your goal is to encourage the employee to keep up the good work, while simultaneously encouraging others to put out greater effort. Praising in public is a good way to raise general morale. Praise loudly, blame softly.
- Be specific in your praise. Name exactly what it is the employee has worked on and what he or she has accomplished. Don’t just say, “Well done, John.” Remember that if the employee feels the praise isn’t genuine, it could have a negative effect.
Praising your staff may lead to an unexpected result: You, the manager, will come away with a renewed sense of confidence in the people who report to you. After all, if you hired someone to do a job that they are not suited for, you have to assume some of the responsibility for their shortcomings. It’s up to you to help them build the strengths and competencies necessary to deserve some praise. Then delivering those compliments is especially sweet.
I learned an important lesson about praise from my father, contained in a letter that he’d written to my sister and me to be read after his death. He reminded us of some of the things he wanted us to remember in our relationships with others.
One point he stressed was how important it is to compliment and praise others so we can never feel sorry for something left unsaid. I have taken that advice to heart, and I know it has been as important in my business life as it has been in my personal life.
Mackay’s Moral: People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be.
Tags: co-marketing, praise
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November 18th, 2008
One of the keys to success is to have successful relationships. We are not islands and we don’t get to the top by ourselves. And one of the key ways to grow successful in our relationships is to be “life-giving” people to others. With every person we meet, we either give life to or take life from.
You know what I mean. There are people who encourage you and after spending time with them you feel built up. Then there are others who make you feel torn down. Successful people are people who have mastered the art of building up others. This is especially true of our families.
One of the ways we build up our families is to praise them. There is power in praising people! Something begins to happen in them, in you, and in your relationship when you praise someone. Can you remember a time when someone told you something about you in a praising manner? It was great, wasn’t it? You probably liked that person more after they praised you, didn’t you?
Now I am not talking about praising people for the sake of praising people. I am talking about honestly looking for and praising positive character traits and actions of your spouse and children. Don’t lie to them. If they have done something wrong, correct it, but when they do something right, praise it!
With that said, here are benefits of and ways to start praising the people in your family.
Benefits:
Your relationship grows. Life is about relationships–family relationships, friends and co-workers. When we begin to praise people for their positive aspects, our relationships grow. It puts them, and us, on the fast track. Your leadership and influence grows. Who is going to have greater relationships, the one who tears down or the one who builds up?
Stronger relationships and loyalty. When the person is appreciated and praised, they become fiercely loyal, because they know that you care for them, love them and appreciate them. This will take you to success.
Happier, more fulfilled people. I truly believe it is our job to build the members of our family up and that they need it. There will always be others who come along to tear them down; it is our job to instill in them the power of praise!
Some Ways to Praise:
Character traits. Is your wife joyful? Is your husband hard-working? Is your son or daughter honest? Then let them know how much you appreciate that in them. Say something like this, “You know Tom, I think it is great that you are such a hard-worker. You really set a good example and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.” Simple!
Action. Same idea as above. “Sue, I don’t know if I have ever told you this, but I love how you always take action on the things you believe in. Thanks for that.”
Other ways you can show praise and appreciation is with a card or a gift.
Make it your goal to praise every member of your family at least once each day. If you can, praise them a few times a day. It will take work but it is possible. It just takes discipline and a little work.
Any way you cut it, there is power in praising people. If you are serious about healthy family relationships, this is a great place to start!
Questions for Reflection
Q. Do you know the best way to express love to your spouse so they interpret it as love and can appreciate it the most? Do you tell your spouse and kids that you love them each and every day?
Q. Would your family characterize you as having a serving attitude and heart toward the rest of the family? Why or why not? In what ways could you become a person who serves better?
Q. Are your family relationships characterized by honest and open communication? If not, what is the hindrance? What could you do to open up the communication?
Q. Are you patient with your spouse and children? Who are you most patient with? What are the things that trigger a lack of patience in you? How can you improve in that area?
Q. When was the last time you had fun – real fun – with each member of your family? What kinds of fun things do you like to do with your spouse? What kinds of fun things do you like to do with your kids? More importantly, what fun things do they like to do with you?
Tags: praise
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October 26th, 2008
One of the keys to success is to have successful relationships. We are not islands and we don’t get to the top by ourselves. And one of the key ways to grow successful in our relationships is to be “life-giving” people to others. Every person we meet, we either give life to or take life from. You know what I mean. There are people who encourage you and when you are done being with them you feel built up. Then there are others who you feel torn down by. Successful people are people who have mastered the art of building others up.
One of the ways we build people up is to praise them. There is power in praising people! Something begins to happen in them, in you, and in your relationship when you praise someone. Remember a time when someone told you something about yourself in a praising manner? It was great, wasn’t it? You probably liked that person more after they praised you, didn’t you?
Now I am not talking about praising people for the sake of praising people. I am talking about honestly looking for and praising positive character traits and action of others around you. Don’t lie to people. If they have done something wrong, correct it, but when they do something right, Praise it!
With that said, here are benefits of and ways to start praising people.
Benefits
Your relationship grows. Life is about relationships. Family relationships, friends, and co-workers. When we begin to praise people for their positive aspects, our relationships grow. It puts them, and us, on the fast track. Your leadership and influence grows. Who is going to have greater leadership and influence capacity in the lives of their followers, the one who tears down or the one who builds up?
Stronger relationships and loyalty. When the person is appreciated and praised, they become fiercely loyal, because they know that you care for them, love them, and appreciate them. This will take you to success.
Happier, more fulfilled people. I truly believe it is our job to build others up and that they need it. It is a good thing, in and of itself to invest in the lives of others by praising and encouraging them. Even if we never get anything in return, it is the right thing to do to build up other people. Someone else will always come along to tear them down; the successful person will instill in them the power of praise!
Some ways to praise
Character traits. Is there someone you know who is joyful? Hard-working? Honest? Then let them know how much you appreciate that in them. You can do it with a word or a card, or a phone call. Say something like this, “You know Tom, I think it is great that you are such a hard-worker. It seems like you are always the first one here and the last one to leave. You really set a good example and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.” Simple!
Action
Same idea as above. “Sue, I don’t know if anybody else has told you this, but your work on the Johnson account was excellent. You have a wonderful ability to communicate the vision of the project and that helps all of the rest of us out in our roles and tasks. Thanks for that. It is greatly appreciated.”
Other ways you can show praise and appreciation is with a card, a gift, or time off from work.
Make it your goal to praise at least five people a day. If you can, praise ten people a day. Or perhaps you can try to praise everyone you come in contact with. It will take work but it is possible. It just takes discipline and a little work.
Any way you cut it though, there is power in praising people. First for them, then for you!
Tags: blood donor gifts, blood donor incentives, point rewards, praise, rewards
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January 9th, 2008
Some years ago Emotional Intelligence (EQ) made its premier among corporate America. No longer was it just about your IQ and experience it was about how you got along with peers and potentially difficult emotional situations. These studies and practices have reshaped the interview and business.
The next step to Emotional Intelligence is Social Intelligence, expanding the viewpoint of importance of emotions and relationships in the workplace. Currently 90% of senior management must have skills that are attributed to Social Intelligence. Due to the cost to replace a manager and because roughly 18% of a manager’s job is handling employee conflicts, these social/emotional skills are moving to the top of many manager’s skills requirement lists.
For top performance EQ is twice the importance of cognitive abilities. Executive level positions have close to 90% of their success attributed to Emotional Intelligence. A study of 181 comptency models demonstrated that 67% of abilities that were essential for effective performance were those coming from emotional compentencies. As studies have proven people leave managers and not companies. The cost of people leaving is 2.5 times their salaries and effective production standards immensely. After all, you may replace an individual but not the chemistry that may have made things all come together. We have all met those individuals that were the glue, the inspiration or possessed the unique skills that may not be completely transferrable.
Amazingly, 16% of workers are disengaged while 53% are moderately engaged with 21% who are thankfully highly engaged. Being emotionally aware or self awareness is actually self management a natural nerve to nerve connection amongst people. Why do some easily ignite the emotions of others so easily? It is because knowingly or unknowingly, they have touched the other individual at the social or gut level. Neurons pick up signals in front of us. Seeing a smile on a manager’s face or seeing what is intrepted as a welcoming physical gesture. Quick responses and decisions occur from these Neurons in the brain.
Self awareness comes from primal empathy, listening, empathic accuracy and social cogition. Self management or the decisions we make based on our self awareness experience (what we see, feel and hear) is what influences, causes concern or feeling of being in sync bring motivation and/or comfort. We believe in the manager or not.
Points of Self Awareness
Primal Empathy is our gut level reaction. An undescribed reaction, a natural reaction. Not as frequently used by all as once believed.
Attunement is a connection. A good listener or physically communication using eye contact communicating an understanding of or connection to the other individual. What is really communicated is done 7% of the time and the rest or 93% is communicated through body language. A perfect example of this skill is possessed by good sales people. They let the other person do most of the talking learning about their needs and wants then provide them the product or service they desire.
Empathic accuracy is a combination of attunement finding a deeper connection between two individuals.
Social cognition is an awareness of one’s environment. Under currents and norms of the environment. Knowing when to pull back from a situation if one’s environment changes or is not comfortable.
Synchrony is a point where all awareness and understanding is applied. Detection of physical, emotional and gut level awareness. The point where you smile at the other individual or not. The ending result to another physically or logically.
Self presentation is what we all try to improve on, our presentation of ourselves. Striving to develop ourselves and our charisma.
Influence concerns all developed skills to persuade. Without reacting first, find out what is going on in the organization, being open and honest while communicating. Learn about employee concerns and find out what they truly desire.
Seven Tips for Improved Employee Engagement
Establish trust for you as a manager
Ask employee their ideas, opinions and goals
Provide scheduled feedback on ideas, opinions and goals being open and honest.
Ask how you are doing as a communicator.
Make sure your employees clearly understand your organization so that they are in sync with the culture and direction of the company.
Praise and provide employee incentives for a job well done. Review success and have the employee note what helped them be successful.
Allow your employees to have a say in decisions acting at times as a peer of yours.
Be caring and considerate of your employees, demonstrate humility and sincerity.
The basics; stay attune to your communication and conflict management skills, invest in your department’s culture and environment, make employee develop one of the most important things you do.
Stop, look and listen to improve emotional and social intelligence. You are now on your way to engage and inspire!
Tags: employee retention, praise, praise employees
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