In the process of living, the winds of circumstances blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives.We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak. Why, then, would each of us, in our own individual ship of life, all beginning at the same point, with the same intended destination in mind, arrive at such different places at the end of the journey? Have we not all been blown by the winds of circumstances and buffeted by the turbulent storms of discontent?

What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the way we have chosen to set our sail. The way that each of us thinks makes the major difference in where each of us arrive. The major difference is the set of the sail.

The same circumstances happen to us all. We have disappointments and challenges. We all have reversals and those moments when, in spite of our best plans and efforts, things just seem to fall apart. Challenging circumstances are not events reserved for the poor, the uneducated or the destitute. The rich and the poor have marital problems. The rich and the poor have the same challenges that can lead to financial ruin and personal despair. In the final analysis, it is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we have struggled to set the sail and then discover, after all of our efforts, that the wind has changed directions.

When the winds change, we must change. We must struggle to our feet once more and reset the sail in the manner that will steer us toward the destination of our own deliberate choosing. The set of the sail, how we think and how we respond, has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than any challenges we face. How quickly and responsibly we react to adversity is far more important than the adversity itself. Once we discipline ourselves to understand this, we will finally and willingly conclude that the great challenge of life is to control the process of our thinking.

Learning to reset the sail with the changing winds rather than permitting ourselves to be blown in a direction we did not purposely choose requires the development of a whole new discipline. It involves going to work on establishing a powerful, personal philosophy that will help to influence in a positive way all that we do and that we think and decide. If we can succeed in this worthy endeavor, the result will be a change in the course of our income, lifestyle and relationships, and in how we feel about the things of value as well as the times of challenge. If we can alter the way we perceive, judge and decide upon the main issues of life, then we can dramatically change our lives.

One of the biggest barriers that all people have to overcome on their journey of success is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of responsibility and commitment. And the big one – Fear of success. It is fear (and all of its cousins like worry, anxiety, depression and self-doubt) that will turn your dreams into a chilling nightmare. This nightmare can turn into something so daunting that it causes you to loose hope. It doesn’t have to be this way. Fear was never intended to put you in a state of paralysis.

The reality of fear is that fear is human. Fear is part of growing and it isn’t going away. It is part of every person’s life and exists in every success story. In all the research I did for my book, “Conquer Fear!” I heard story after story of successful people who experienced fear. The names would change. The circumstances were different. But the fear was the same – and very real. What I noticed was the successful person was willing to face and expose their fear.

The difference between a mediocre success and a breakthrough success is your willingness to deal with your fears.

What about you? What hidden fear are you ignoring that is causing you to repel success? Acknowledging the fear is the first step to defusing its power over you and taking control over your emotions and your life.

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That’s just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here’s something else we can see just as often: we can see that most people aren’t as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena?

It’s in your best interest to take responsibility for everything you do. But that’s only the beginning. Many times it’s even best to take responsibility for the mistakes of others, especially when you’re in a managerial or leadership role.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills.  

But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average in fact. But this low percentage didn’t really give a clear picture of Russell’s ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about twelve seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston’s players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.

This was a perfectly logical choice since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they’d still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers’ chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it’s an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he’d squat down and as he straightened up he’d let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.

But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else’s.  And, like magic, even if he’d missed every free throw he’d ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I’ve always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

“A Person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions.” - As A Man Thinketh

One of the great weaknesses of our society today is the growing attitude of victimization. Many people claim themselves to be victims of some outside force. “I had to file bankruptcy because of my ex-wife…”, “If my company hadn’t laid me off…”, “If that driver hadn’t pulled out in front of me…”

When we are victims of circumstances, or as James Allen says, a “creature of outside conditions”, we have no power. We have given over the power in our life to the circumstances. The longer we give power to our circumstances the worse or circumstances become.

In his book, “Above Life´s Turmoil”, Allen writes, “You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your thought world. Nothing appears without an adequate cause.”

To get control of our circumstances we must first acknowledge personal responsibility for being where we are. That was the hardest part for me because the “victim” in all of us doesn’t want to take that responsibility.

When we take the responsibility we must then take control of our thoughts. And, yes, in the beginning that can be hard. It seems sometimes that it’s our nature to first think negatively. But that’s just because it’s the habit we’ve developed. And like any habit, it can be changed by replacing it with the habit of thinking the right way.

One of my favorite teachers, Emmet Fox, writes: “You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because you were depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will change to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

A good way to think of leadership is the process of freeing your team members to do the best work they possibly can. I have followed NBA basketball coach Phil Jackson’s career.

Like Phil Jackson who moved from the record setting Chicago Bulls to the Los Angeles Lakers. Jackson says his principal task is creating an environment in which his players can flourish. In communicating with his championship teams, Jackson convinced them that they had the talent to win championships, and that the main goal of the coach was going to be freeing them to use that talent.

Today’s business team members, say they want, more than anything else, the autonomy to do their jobs without the boss’s interference. In the new century, it’s already clear that the CEOs of our best-run companies believe that the more power leaders have, the less they should use.

The job of the team leader is to set a mission, decide upon a strategic direction, achieve the necessary cooperation, delegate authority — and then let people innovate. To do that we all could take a hint from the late football coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant. Before his retirement as one of the leading coaches in college football history at Alabama, Bryant observed:

The key to authentic leadership is to listen to your followers, and then open the door for them to lead themselves. The secret is empowerment. The main incentive is genuine caring and recognition.

The five most important words a leader can speak are: “I am proud of you.”
The four most important are: “What is your opinion?”
The three most important are: “If you please.”
The two most important are: “Thank You.”
And the most important single word of all is: “You!”

His name was Jason Dunham and he was a corporal in the US Marines. The story picks up with Jason as he was talking with the men in his unit. They wondered whether a person could jump on a grenade and survive by putting it under their helmet. Deep down they all most likely knew that it wouldn’t work – yet on the streets of Baghdad soon all topics of conversation can become quickly exhausted, and hypothetical solutions to real life problems can pass the time.

Unfortunately for Jason Dunham, the circumstance that he had hypothesized about arrived just a few weeks later. However, fortunately for his unit Corporal Jason Dunham was there. In this life and death scenario there is no time to think. There is only time for fight or flight. Jason chose fight and performed above and beyond the call of duty. He threw his helmet and body over the grenade and gave his life for his friends. Jason was nominated for The Congressional Medal of Honor. He was twenty years old.

Your stance on political matters or world issues is irrelevant in this scenario. Jason did not do this for you, he did not do it for the people of Baghdad, he didn’t do it for the US Government or a politician. He did it for the men beside him – period.

To give your life for your friends the greatest thing one person can do for another. It is also one of the rarest acts of civilization.

In 1981, shots rang out as bullets screamed through the air to pierce the flesh of the fortieth President of The United States. No sooner had the gun powder been ignited than Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy stood up as straight as a board and extended his arms to make himself a large barrier between John Hinckley and President Reagan. While others ran for cover agent McCarthy stood looking directly as his potential death with firm resolve. Tim was shot square in the chest and believe it or not that was exactly his goal. As he positioned himself spread eagle to take a bullet for a man, an office and a nation others cowered in trembling fear. Because of amazing grace agent McCarthy survived.

What causes men and women to lay down their lives for another? It takes a lot. First and foremost it takes a realization that life isn’t about you. It is about making a difference, making an impact and it is about giving.

Jason Dunham and Tim McCarthy were able to respond the way they did because:

• They decided how they were going to respond long before the event occurred.
• They were not selfish people – the farthest you could be from selfish as a matter of fact.
• They realized that life was not about them it was about making a difference – it was about others.

I hope with all my heart you are never placed in a situation where you have to choose between your life and those around you. Yet, everyday you are in situations where you have to make choices. You must decide right now how you will respond.

The lesson to extract from the lives of Corporal Dunham and Agent McCarthy is that of an overall attitude on life. That attitude simply put is that it is better to give than receive. It is honorable to view the lives and well being of others above yourself. If we can take any pearl of wisdom from the extraordinary lives and attitudes of these two men it is that making an impact on the world is not always about recognition, power, money or personal gain. Sometimes the greatest success is one who gives himself up so others can succeed. That is the mark of the ultimate high achiever.

Decide today how you will respond in your moments of crisis - whether it is financial, personal or life and death. As you make your plan your actions, remember the selfless lessons of Corporal Dunham and Agent McCarthy.

The power of thought is indisputably great. For illustration, look at the life of Henry David Thoreau, a 19th-century Massachusetts philosopher.

In 1849, Thoreau, as a relatively unknown scholar, published his thoughts in a controversial essay about civil disobedience. The essay expressed his ideas about justice:

• Not all laws are just.
• A person should respect justice more than the law.
• Without resorting to violence, a person of conscience is justified to transgress the law to protest its injustice.

Thoreau’s thoughts, as the basis for nonviolent resistance, would end up fueling two of the greatest social advancements of the 20th century - Ghandi’s struggle to free India from Britain’s colonial rule and the American Civil Rights Movement led by Martin Luther King, Jr.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THINKING

Thoughts never begin fully formed.

Have you ever looked through a microscope? At first glance, the image appears blurry and indistinct. However, after adjusting the lens, the image comes into focus, and you can see with remarkable clarity.

When thoughts enter my mind, they are hazy and disordered, much like the initial image seen through a microscope. I have to fine-tune my thoughts by dwelling upon them, and connecting them to other thoughts I’ve had. It takes awhile for me to wrestle with a thought before its merit becomes clear.

Thoughts take time to develop their potential.

I am not a naturally brilliant thinker. My mind doesn’t overflow with out-of-the-box creativity. However, I do leverage experiences to stretch my thoughts. I have found that reflection turns my experience into insight. At the close of each day, I’ll review important lessons I’ve learned. I’ll mine failure until I’ve gained a nugget of wisdom, or I’ll consider how the day’s events validated or invalidated one of my ideas. Through time, evaluating my experiences helps my thoughts to expand and mature.

Thoughts take others to develop their potential.

Alone, my thoughts are shallow and unexceptional. However, I am able to polish and refine them through my interactions with other leaders. I enhance my own thinking by piggybacking on the wisdom of friend and colleagues. In conversations or observations of their behavior, I strengthen and confirm my own inklings about leadership and life.

Each of us is trapped inside our own perspective and limited by blind spots and prejudices. If we isolate ourselves, we diminish our minds, and our thoughts atrophy.

We are wise to seek out others to test our assumptions and sharpen our thinking.

Thoughts are very fragile in the beginning.

Gardeners know the delicate nature of a newly planted seedling. To survive, the plant must receive nourishment and be protected from harsh winds, weeds, or hungry animas. Until its roots take hold and its stem grows, the seedling is vulnerable.

Likewise, our thoughts are fragile at first. They are endangered by pessimism, busyness, insecurity, forgetfulness, and a host of other threats. In the words of Bob Biehl, “Ideas are like soap bubbles floating in the air close to jagged rocks on a windy day.”

In order to grow, our thoughts need careful attention and cultivation.

THOUGHT BUSTERS

Thoughts only reach their potential in a healthy environment. During my time as a leader, I’ve encountered the following environmental hazards, or thought busters, which threaten to destroy good thinking.

Criticism

When leaders pay any cost to ward off criticism, they sacrifice their best thoughts. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, “If you have something others don’t have, know something others don’t know, or do something others aren’t doing, then, rest assured, you will be criticized.” In my opinion, thinking requires boldness, the courage to be second-guessed, and readiness to endure conflict.

Lack of personal commitment to thinking

Taking action is by no means a negative quality in a leader. However, when a leader is all action, it’s only a matter of time until he or she falls behind, steers off course, and surrenders the reins of leadership. I like Gordon MacDonald’s appeal to mental fitness:

“In our pressurized society, people who are out of shape mentally usually fall victim to ideas and systems that are destructive to the human spirit and to the human relationship. They are victimized because they have not taught themselves how to think, nor have they set themselves to the lifelong pursuit of growth of the mind. Not having the faculty of a strong mind, they grow dependent upon the thoughts and opinions of others.”

As leaders, thinking keeps us in front. Before we shape the future, we must get our minds in shape.

Excuses

“I don’t have enough time,” has been my most common excuse to avoid thinking. However, blaming time constraints is not a legitimate excuse. After all, a great idea is one of the greatest commodities a person can own. Besides, by taking the time to think, we invent smarter ways to expend our energy and resources.

“I’m not creative,” has been another excuse of mine. Of course, blaming my lack of creativity is actually a sorry excuse for being lazy. Thinking well isn’t easy. It takes concentration, focus, and, most challenging of all, the discipline to stop moving for a few moments.

To be a success is not always to be a success individually. In fact, most of the time we achieve our successes as part of a team.

We are all part of teams. Our family is a team. Our place of work is a team. The community groups we belong to are teams. Sometimes we are the team leader or “coach,” while other times we fulfill the role of follower, or “player.” It is so important then for us to understand teams and how they work, especially those who achieve success - the achievement of their desired goal.

In my life I have been on some successful teams, and some not so successful teams. This includes both athletically as well as professionally. When I was growing up, I worked for seven years with the Seattle Supersonics, our local National Basketball Association team. They were at times unsuccessful, and, in 1979, my second year working there, the most successful team in the league, winning the World Championship. I have been able to see firsthand what makes the difference between the unsuccessful teams and the successful ones.

Here are some principles that I know, when implemented on a regular basis, can turn any lackluster team into an outstanding one! These principles can be applied to your family, your business, your organization, and yes, your sports team.

Communication/Leader
The leader needs to communicate the vision. If they are setting the pace, they need to let people know where they are going so that the team can follow. The coach always does a pre-game talk, laying out the vision.

The leader communicates the vision frequently, so as to always be updating the team as to where they are at and what changes need to be made. The coach doesn’t relegate the direction he gives to the pre-game, he coaches and communicates all the way through the game.

Team
Watch a good basketball team. They are talking to each other all of the time. Helping one another out, encouraging one another, praising one another, and telling each other how they can make changes so the same mistakes aren’t made again. The same is true of successful teams in the professional world and in life in general.

Excellence
The truly great teams are teams that are committed to excellence. In everything they do, their goal is to achieve at the highest level. And this commitment is held throughout the team and at every level. A successful team cannot have members who are not committed to excellence because in the end they will become the weak link.

Followership
If you want a fascinating read, pick up The Power of Followership, by Robert Kelley. The author basically makes the point that the secret to getting things done lies not only in great leadership, but in how well the rest of the people, 99% of the team, follows the leadership. Good teams are filled with people who are committed to following and getting the job done.

Understanding Roles
Pardon the Chicago Bulls analogy, but it is so clear. When the game was on the line, with only one shot left, everyone, the coaches, the players, the 20,000 people watching in the stadium, and millions watching on TV, knew who would shoot the last shot. That was Michael Jordan’s role.

Every team works best when the members of the team have clearly defined and understood roles. Some do one thing, others do another. One isn’t better or more important than the other, just different. When teams operate out of their strengths and their roles, they win.

Strengths and Weaknesses
This brings me to strengths and weaknesses. Every team member has strengths and weaknesses. The successful teams are those who on a regular and consistent basis enable the members to operate out of their strengths and not out of their weaknesses. And what is one person’s strengths will cover another’s weakness. This is teamwork, enabling all of the bases to be covered.

Fun
The team that plays together stays together. Is your team all work and no play? If you’re smart, that will change. Get your team out of the office once a month and go have some fun. Enjoy one another. Enjoy life. It will bring a sense of bonding that can’t be made even in “winning.”

Common Goals and Vision
I have found that these need to have three aspects. Short, simple and clear. Can you say it in less than 30 seconds? Is it simple? Can you and others understand it? Does the team all know what they are working together for?

Appreciation
All through the “game,” successful teams appreciate one another and show it in a variety of ways. The coach shows it to the players, the players show it to the coach, and the players show it to one another.

Someone recently asked me the question: “How can I have more opportunities come into my life?” Good question, but I think my answer surprised them a bit. I bypassed the obvious (and necessary) points about hard work, persistence and preparation. They actually were very hard workers. And they had the great attribute of being seekers, they were on the outlook. But I felt maybe they were missing this next and most valuable point - attraction.

I always thought opportunities and success were something you went after, then I found out that I needed to turn it around. Opportunities and success are not something you go after necessarily, but something you attract - by becoming an attractive person.

That’s why I teach development of skills. If you can develop your skills, keep refining all the parts of your character and yourself, your health, your relationships, etc. so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace - you’ll attract opportunity. Opportunity will probably seek you out. Your reputation will probably precede you and someone will want to do business with you. All of the possibilities are there by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract.

The key is to continue making yourself a more attractive person by the skills you have, the disciplines you have, the personality you’ve acquired, the character and reputation you have established, the language and speech you use - all of that refinement makes you more attractive to the marketplace.

Personal development - the never-ending chance to improve not only yourself, but also to attract opportunities and affect others

Money is great!  It makes the world go around. It motivates some to perform better for a while (in its pursuit), but that “superior” performance is usually short lived.  In the same respect, threats, barking orders and intimidation have never moved any team that I was on to surpassing goals and moving to new levels of productivity or creativity.  In 22 years of leading people, I have found that the essence of motivating team members comes from within.   That, if you really want to “reach in and touch” that inner part of a person (to find the piece that motivates, moves them past goals, and vests their loyalty), each person has to be treated as such - a person!  To motivate your team and catapult them to the next level, try these 4 “No Fail” strategies - all it costs is a little time and reflection.

These 4 “No Fail” strategies will help leaders inspire, motivate and build a covenant of trust with your team.  Trying them doesn’t cost a penny; they don’t need to be decided upon by a committee; and you should not be “faulted” for employing them (if you are, it’s time to find a new vocation).  All it takes is time, reflection and care.  Take the risk, step out, and connect with your people today.  The return on investing yourself in your people will provide a much greater reward than just the bottom line.