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    The Two Core Fears and the Fear of Success – by Lisa Jimenez, M.Ed.

    December 2nd, 2008

    Fear of commitment, fear of responsibility, fear of loss, and fear of confrontation are all symptoms of the two core fears. All of these surface fears fall into two categories which are the core fears: Fear of Failure and Fear of Success.
     
    If you experience fear of commitment, responsibility, growing up, or change, your core fear is the fear of success. If most of your anxiety comes from fear of rejection, confrontation, or not measuring up, your core fear is the fear of failure.
     
    Let’s talk about the fear of success. The fear of succeeding and then having to maintain that success can be daunting. The fear of success is the most powerful fear over most people because it relates directly to the three inborn fears. Fear of falling, fear of loud noises, and fear of abandonment.
     
    The fear of falling represents the belief that once you’ve achieved success; there’s no place to go but down.
     
    The fear of loud noises correlates to sudden change. Perhaps you’ve been working toward something for months, and then, overnight it seems, something comes through and suddenly you are successful.
     
    The fear of abandonment is very real to a person on the journey of success. You might lose friends when you become successful. They might be jealous of your success, view you as arrogant, or feel that you just don’t fit into the “old group” anymore. We have sayings like, “It’s lonely at the top,” and your inborn fear of abandonment is challenged.
     
    These three fears are inborn and naturally reoccur from time to time. You can counter them by replacing them with truth. Discover your truth about what success means to you and live your life based on these truths. Then you will silence these inborn fears and conquer the dream busters.
     
    Face Your Fear of Success

    Loss of Motivation – John Wesley

    October 24th, 2008

    How many times have you started a new activity (such as a personal project or exercise routine) with a burst of enthusiasm, only to see that initial momentum evaporate? This often leads to depression and causes us to give up prematurely. I’ve experienced this letdown dozens of times myself. But fortunately, with a bit of thought and reflection you can turn this negative emotion around.

    The key to harnessing your emotions is understanding them. The natural pattern of human emotion is peaks and valleys. When we start a new project we’re filled with tremendous optimism. All we can think about is the expected benefits, and since we haven’t started yet, we aren’t aware of the difficulties involved. This natural high causes a surge of mental and physical activity. The peak is a great thing because the energy boost gets projects off the ground. If you’re a creative type like me, you know that this period is euphoric. You feel like nothing can stop you.

    The downside of this surge of energy is that it inevitably ends. Exerting large amounts of energy wears you down, and after the initial optimism wears off we feel extremely tired. However high you started off, you fall down just as low. This causes a loss of confidence. The combination of fatigue, scant results, and an awareness of impending adversity makes us want to give up. From personal experience I’ve learned a few ways to hold strong against negativity.

    Be Prepared for a Letdown

    Emotions, by nature, lose their power when we understand them. Prove this to yourself. Next time you get angry, take a moment to reflect on the reason behind the emotion. When I step back and reflect, it’s easy to see that my anger is caused by insecurity/selfishness/jealousy etc. After I understand the cause my anger fades away.

    The same technique applies to a loss of motivation. Instead of giving into negativity, step back and analyze. Look at the causes. Are you tired, burned out, disappointed by the results? Are these feelings justified, or are they a by product of a low point in the emotional spectrum?

    To illustrate these ideas, I’ll use my most recent project as an example, the creation of this site. When I launched Pick the Brain it took an enormous amount of effort. I was completely new to blogging, web design, and traffic building so there was a steep learning curve. Writing new posts, setting up the site, and trying to build traffic took up nearly all my free time. After about three weeks I was completely burned out. I got depressed and started to question if the site was worth the effort. I wasn’t seeing any returns and I started to find enormous faults in my writing and the purpose of the site. There were moments when I was resigned to failure.

    One reason I was able to overcome this loss of motivation is that I prepared myself for a letdown. Beforehand, I researched blogging and learned that it generally takes 9-12 months before a site begins to see significant traffic. Knowing that my lack of success was perfectly normal helped me get over it. The same is true for other endeavors. If you know losing 20 pounds in a month is unrealistic, you’ll be able to accept losing only 5 more easily.

    I also knew my own emotions and was prepared for the initial emotional peak to pass. When I was first inspired to launch a website, my expectations were through the roof. Dreams of AdSense revenue danced in my head and I pictured throngs of loyal readers as if they already existed. But because I understand my emotional pattern, I realized this optimism would give way to depression. In the back of my mind, I foresaw the impending motivational battle, and when it came I was ready.

    Reevaluate Your Strategy and Motivation

    The passing of the emotional peak is a blessing in disguise because it allows us to reevaluate our plans from a fresh perspective. At first we are blinded by our own optimism. When we lose our motivation we can see gaping holes our in plan. We can either get down on ourselves and give up, or we can use this negative emotion to discover our faults and correct them. After I pulled myself out of the motivational cellar, I went back to all the negatives thoughts I’d had and applied them to improving the site. Having a pessimistic attitude opened my eyes. It made me realistic about my abilities and expectations. Emotional valleys bring us back to reality. Without them we’d be raving lunatics with unlimited self-confidence.

    Use a loss of motivation as an opportunity to reconsider what your motivation really is. One reason I lost motivation is that I became too concerned with the financial aspect of blogging and lost sight of the real reason I started: sharing my passion for self improvement and the pursuit of happiness. When I realigned my motivation with my passion, the lack of results didn’t matter. My motivation returned because I realized connecting with people through my writing is an end in itself. Even if this site never makes I dime, sharing my ideas and experiences to help other people is worth the effort.

    In truth, sometimes giving up is the right decision. If you started doing something for the wrong reasons you’ll likely lose your motivation. This is a good thing. It allows us to see what really motivates us. In these cases, the best choice is to move on to a new endeavor. Don’t fight self doubt, use it for your benefit.

    Conclusion

    Dealing with emotional highs and lows is an experience common to all people. We generally accept our emotions as beyond our control. They are powerful and mysterious and appear quite irrational. But if we contemplate our emotions, if we explore the inner workings of our minds, we find that like all things, emotions obey the law of cause and effect. Armed with this knowledge, we can continue to allow our emotions to dominate our lives, or we can use them to our benefit.

    Don’t be surprised by a loss of motivation and don’t be disappointed by it. Understand it as natural effect of the human mind, and utilize this knowledge of self to make your emotions work for you.

    Increase Motivation – John Wesley

    October 24th, 2008

    If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results. Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives. These 21 tactics will help you maximize motivation in yourself and others.

    Motivation

    1. Consequences – Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?

    2. Pleasure – This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.

    3. Performance incentives – Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.

    4. Detailed instructions – If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.

    5. Short and long term goals – Use both short and long term goals to guide the action process and create an overall philosophy.

    6. Kindness – Get people on your side and they’ll want to help you. Piss them off and they’ll do everything they can to screw you over.

    7. Deadlines – Many people are most productive right before a big deadline. They also have a hard time focusing until that deadline is looming overhead. Use this to your advantage by setting up a series of mini-deadlines building up to an end result.

    8. Team Spirit
    – Create an environment of camaraderie. People work more effectively when they feel like part of team — they don’t want to let others down.

    10. Recognize achievement – Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.

    11. Personal stake – Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.

    12. Concentrate on outcomes – No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.

    13. Trust and Respect – Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.

    14. Create challenges – People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.

    15. Let people be creative – Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas.

    16. Constructive criticism
    – Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.

    17. Demand improvement – Don’t let people stagnate. Each time someone advances raise the bar a little higher (especially for yourself).

    18. Make it fun – Work is most enjoyable when it doesn’t feel like work at all. Let people have fun and the positive environment will lead to better results.

    19. Create opportunities – Give people the opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work will pay off.

    20. Communication
    – Keep the communication channels open. By being aware of potential problems you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.

    21. Make it stimulating – Mix it up. Don’t ask people to do the same boring tasks all the time. A stimulating environment creates enthusiasm and the opportunity for “big picture” thinking.

    Master these key points and you’ll increase motivation with a bit of hard work.

    How Job Satisfaction Affects Decision to Retire – By EBRI

    September 4th, 2008

    WASHINGTON—How can a lack of job satisfaction affect a worker’s decision to retire?A number of factors appear to contribute to a lack of job satisfaction, but feeling unappreciated appears to play a leading role, according to a survey of recent retirees, published by the nonpartisan EmployeeBenefit Research Institute (EBRI) in the July 2008 EBRI Issue Brief, available at www.ebri.org

    Here are some of the details:

     Almost two-thirds of retirees who were dissatisfied with their job at the time they made thedecision to retire rate the feeling that they were not valued by the company or that their work didnot have long-term value as a significant contributor to their lack of satisfaction (64 percent rate it

    a “4” or “5” on a 5-point scale), the survey found).

     About half each report stress (47 percent), no longer growing or learning (45 percent), and not

    enjoying their work (44 percent) were significant contributors.

     One-third each indicate they were spending too much time on management duties or companyinitiatives (34 percent), did not get along with some of the people they worked with or felt they

    did not share their values (30 percent), and regularly worked long hours (30 percent).

     Just 6 percent state that thinking they could earn more money elsewhere played a part in their dissatisfaction. The survey involved responses from 4,981 workers in aerospace and defense industry companies whoretired in 2003 or later and who were between ages 55 and 65 at the time of the survey. 

    Do It Now!!! by Paul J. Meyer

    August 29th, 2008

    No matter what area of Business you are in, it all boils down to:

    Meeting People

    Making Appointments Opportunities for presentations  and… The possibility of new business!

    There are a lot of ATTITUDES that can come together to make this happen . . . But one of mine that I underscore again and again is to: “Live each day with a Do it Now! attitude.”

    I have learned both personally and from study that success doesn’t result from luck or random chance. Success never just “happens to the fortunate few.” Instead, achievers make their own opportunities in business and in life by doing more than daydreaming or vaguely desiring.

    They possess a “DO IT NOW!” attitude that motivates them to take actions required to soar above the rest and bridge the gap between their dreams and reality.

    Through the ages, philosophers, heads of state, commanding generals, athletes, and businesspeople – leaders and go-getters of all types – have tried to kindle the flame of imagination and light the fire of enthusiasm so that the people can glimpse the heights they might reach, the richness of rewards they might savor, and the happiness they might enjoy.

    The early Greek philosopher Plato said that if people would move the world, they must first move themselves. This statement offers one of the enduring truths of all time. To accomplish any personally meaningful and productive results, translate all of your ideas, your plans, and your decisions into immediate action.

    The worst handicap any person can possess is the insidious habit of procrastination. Procrastination is responsible for missed opportunities, low productivity, and general dissatisfaction with life.

    The most BRILLIANT IDEA, The most IMPORTANT DECISION, or The BIGGEST PROSPECTIVE SALE you will ever make will happen only when you TAKE ACTION and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

    Adopt a SPARK and FIRE of URGENCY, and you can turn your dreams and goals into reality!  

    A Do-It-Now attitude and self-generated urgency are universally available, and are the keys to success in your particular kind of business.  
    Anyone. . . including you. . . can become so motivated that you reach and surpass – important life goals.
    The intensity of desire you develop depends on YOU; others cannot supply it for you.

    And because I care about you, I want desperately in some way to help you achieve. . .

    BUT THE TRUTH IS, the intensity of desire you develop depends on YOU and YOU ALONE – no one else can supply it for you.

    You can’t be an achiever just because a family member was successful, or because your friends are successful business people. And although you can have mentors who give you guidance, they cannot succeed for you.

    It is strictly in your hands. You are the only one responsible for your success.

    SO. . .

    Exercise initiative!
     Always set goals.
      Always put your plans in writing with specific deadlines.
        Determine the time frames you will work.
         Then not only take action, but take INTELLIGENT, RIGHT ACTION and proceed with unswerving singleness of purpose!

    Adopt a DO IT NOW attitude, because: NOW IS THE TIME TO SUCCEED!!

    Vital resource dwindles – By Mary Engel 07

    August 27th, 2008

    In the blood business, Labor Day is the last hurdle of the donor-dry summer. Soon, college and corporate blood drives will get underway to replenish reserves. All that’s needed is to get through the holiday weekend with no chain-reaction freeway crashes or major train wrecks.

    But a dwindling pool of donors nationwide could turn today’s seasonal shortages into a year-round drought, blood experts say. And Southern California would be hit especially hard. On average, just 5% of U.S. adults donate blood; here, it’s fewer than 3%.

    The American Red Cross Blood Services of Southern California needs 1,500 units of blood every day to supply more than 150 hospitals in Los Angeles, Orange, San Diego and Ventura counties.

    Already it must import 40% of that from the Midwest and rural areas in other parts of the country. An earthquake or bridge collapse could easily triple the organization’s needs.

    The general public presumes that nobody’s going to bleed to death because there’s not enough blood,” said Dr. Jeffrey McCullough, a professor of laboratory medicine at the University of Minnesota and an expert on the nation’s blood supply.

    But getting donors, he said, “is more and more difficult, and the reforms make it more and more expensive.” An average adult has about 10 pints of blood, and a major trauma victim can need up to 100.

    Generally, the public’s concern is blood safety, not supply. That’s been the case since the 1980s, when HIV-tainted blood infected more than 12,000 patients nationwide through transfusions.

    Today a battery of tests screen blood for HIV, hepatitis, West Nile virus and other pathogens. A series of questions excludes donors who have visited countries with malaria or mad cow disease.

    Temporary restrictions on everything from travel to tattoos often end up deterring donors permanently. A study by McCullough in the July issue of the journal Transfusion concluded that 37% of the U.S. population is now eligible to give blood, down from an estimated 60% in the 1990s.

    The blood supply is extraordinarily safe,” said Arthur Caplan, director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania and a former member of a federal advisory committee on blood safety. “But you have to remember that having blood available is part of safety, too, particularly if you have some kind of disaster and you need a lot.”

    The blood-bank system that people take for granted began during World War II as a way for citizens to help wounded soldiers on the front lines. Dr. Charles R. Drew – for whom the medical school south of Watts was named – discovered how to preserve and store blood and organized the first blood drive. Neither subsequent generations nor immigrants have embraced the donor habit as enthusiastically as the war generation.

    We don’t have a blood supply problem, we have a blood donor problem,” said Teresa Solorio, spokeswoman for American Red Cross Blood Services of Southern California. “It’s easier to get people to donate money than to donate blood.”

    Meanwhile, even with the development of blood-conserving surgeries, the need for blood has risen because of medical advances and an aging population that needs hip replacements, heart surgery, cancer treatment and kidney transplants.

    As the baby boomers are getting older, they’re going to be needing more medical procedures,” said Dr. Ross M. Herron, the regional Red Cross center’s chief medical director. “And it’s going to fall to the Gen Xers and the millennial generation, just like Medicare and Social Security and everything else.”

    Type O blood

    Blood shortages occur in pockets across the nation, especially in Los Angeles, New York and other large metropolitan areas, which tend to be faster-paced and have less of a sense of community than parts of the Midwest and South, blood experts say. But natural disasters, for example the recent floods in Oklahoma, can mean less blood from states that usually have enough to export.

    Recruiting new donors is even more urgent in Southern California because of its Latino population, whose blood type doesn’t always match that of Mid- western imports or even local donors.

    Blood type, like eye color, is inherited. About 45% of whites have type O blood; an estimated 65% of Latinos have it. People with type O blood can receive only type O, and demand is growing as the Latino population grows.

    Adding to the demand is the key role type O blood plays in emergencies: It alone can be transfused into patients with any of the four basic blood types – A, B, AB or O – without causing serious, even fatal, complications. This universality makes it crucial to have a supply for trauma patients who could bleed to death in the 20 minutes it takes to test and match blood.

    A majority of blood donors in Southern California – 57% – are non-Latino whites, according to Red Cross figures; 23% are Latino.

    The local Red Cross is targeting Latinos in an effort to “make our donor population match our patient population,” Herron said.

    But because blood donors must present photo identification, potential donors who are in the United States illegally often fear detection, said Dr. Alexander J. Indrikovs, an associate professor of pathology at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston.

    Other barriers to increasing blood donations among Latinos are cultural.

    Many of us come to the U.S. with a culture that is not a culture of donating blood,” said Indrikovs, who is originally from the Dominican Republic. “We see it as necessary only when a family member needs blood.”

    Until that changes, Indrikovs said, “we are going to be seeing increasing shortages.”

    Family donations used to be more of a tradition in the United States when hospitals charged a “replacement fee” for transfused blood and families and friends of patients could pay it off by giving blood. Changing insurance and billing practices did away with that fee.

    Today, the two nonprofit groups that supply most of the nation’s blood – the American Red Cross and America’s Blood Centers – rely heavily on college and corporate blood drives and on regular donors who give more than once a year. Families that host blood drives tend to do so because their personal experience has shown them how vital it is to have blood available when it’s needed.

    But in Mexico and many other Latin American countries, Indrikovs said, it is far more common to sell blood than to donate it. In the United States, only plasma, the fluid part of blood, can be sold, and it is used in making some blood products. By law, only donated blood can be used in transfusions. Health officials believe that payment can motivate people to lie on questionnaires meant to screen out drug use and other health risks.

    The donation rate in many Latin American countries, Indrikovs said, is less than 1%.

    Changes urged

    The Bioethics Center’s Caplan argues that blood banks nationwide need to streamline questionnaires, especially for repeat donors, keep longer hours and make the process more inviting for all donors.

    We haven’t made blood donation as painless, as simple and as rewarding as it should be,” he said.

    For now, blood banks and hospitals juggle supplies and pray they get through holidays. So far, no hospital has run out of blood. But nationwide, 135 hospitals reported canceling elective surgeries on one or more days because of blood shortages in 2004, the most recent year for which statistics are available. That year, just 4.5% more blood was available for transfusions than was used, the smallest margin ever measured.

    Blood suppliers aim to have a three- to five-day supply on hand to distribute to hospitals in case of emergencies. As of Friday, American Red Cross Blood Services of Southern California was down to about a 6-hour supply, or 217 units of O positive blood and 35 units of O negative, the most versatile of all.

    Labor Day Weekend Specials – Strategic Concepts

    August 21st, 2008

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