January 5th, 2010
People who have achieved their goals knew what they wanted in the first place. They decided what to go after, and they went after it. One of the most compelling reasons why people do not get what they want is that they never decided what they wanted! They never defined the desires of their hearts in complete detail.
Why don’t you know what you want? Why isn’t it spelled out in detail in your mind? Most likely, it is because you have lost touch with the desires of your heart. You were probably taught that you couldn’t have whatever you wanted. You were probably taught that it was more important to do what made other people happy. Seeking your happiness was considered selfish, so you learned not to define your happiness. Now, you find yourself completely unaware of what your preferences are, how you really want to live your life, and what your goals are for your life.
Take back your life! Start honoring your preferences, no matter how small they seem. Even if you don’t know what you prefer, pretend you do, and make a decision. You’ll be more keenly aware of whether that decision made you happy or not and you will learn your preferences!
Commit to this new belief: You deserve to have everything exactly the way you want it. Make it a priority to begin to know your wants and desires. Start simple by making a list of things you want to do and things you want to have. Keep writing until you find some of your core values, such as wanting to have loving relationships, to make a difference in your world or to be financially secure.
Think of what you love to do with your time. Write down several things that you love to do, and then make a list of all the ways you can think of to be making a living doing those things. Create a detailed description of the vision you have for your ideal life. Don’t limit yourself. Dream as big as you possibly can from your perspective right now.
In detail, what is going on in the financial area of your life? How much money do you make? How much do you have in savings and investments? What about your real estate? What kind of house or houses do you own? Create detailed visions of all the major areas of your life, your ideal career, your recreation time, your ideal body and physical health, your relationships with family and friends, your spiritual life, and the community in which you live. Create and write down your ideal vision for each area and review it on a daily basis.
All you have to do at this point is clarify your vision to yourself. Don’t worry about how it will happen right now. Once you have a clear picture of what you want going through your mind, the steps and opportunities to get it will appear. When you have completed your ideal vision of your life, share it with a supportive friend. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it! More than likely, they want the same thing for themselves but believe it’s impossible. Deciding what you want is the first step to getting what you want. Don’t put off creating your vision!
1. What do you want? (target)
2. Where are you now?
3. What steps are needed to get you there? (goals)
4. Why now?
5. Who will I have to be to get there?
6. When get there…then what?
7. What do I want to keep the same (in my life)?
I know, these questions may seem simplistic at first, but as a good friend of mine, T. Harv Ever says, “Most people don’t get what they want, because they don’t know what they want.” This first question is probably the most powerful, if answered correctly.
To answer the first and third question I recommend the SMARTER goal method. This takes the SMART goal method and adds a twist.
Specific – A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions:
• Who: Who is involved?
• What: What do I want to accomplish?
• Where: Identify a location.
• When: Establish a time frame.
• Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
• Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
Measurable – Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.
To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as……How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?
Attainable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.
Realistic – To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love.
Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.
Tangible – A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible, or when you tie an tangible goal to a intangible goal, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.
Intangible goals are your goals for the internal changes required to reach more tangible goals. They are the personality characteristics and the behavior patterns you must develop to pave the way to success in your career or for reaching some other long-term goal. Since intangible goals are vital for improving your effectiveness, give close attention to tangible ways for measuring them.
Evaluate – Your goals are not set in stone and will change from time to time. Constant evaluation of your goals is essential to reaching your goals. Change factors must be taken into consideration during your evaluation. Factors such as change in volunteer status, change in family or job responsibilities, or change in available resources may affect your stated goals.
Re-do – After a careful evaluation then you should re-do the goals that need changing and continue the SMARTER goal setting process.
Goal development and goal setting is process that changes and needs evaluation. The process of developing, initiating and following through on the SMARTER goals setting model is cyclical and should be continually worked on. As a sectional staff member, your personal and organizational goals should be examined critically at least once a year.
You’ll notice that I classify “what you want” as the target and your action steps as your goal. Here’s why. You desire, what you want to change is a fix point, that is a target. In order to get there you must take action, and most likely massive action.
So, how to hold yourself accountable for these actions? That’s where the goals come in. The goals are the actions you take in order to progress towards your target. For example, if you wanted to release 10 lbs of fat (that would be your target) your goal would be to reduce your caloric intake by 500 calories per day and increase your output (exercise) by 500 calories per day.
As long as you hit your goals, your target automatically gets closer to you. DO you see the power in this?
By using these 7 mental strength questions and by applying the SMARTER target process you’ll be able to make magnificent changes in any part of your life.
Tags: employees, motivate employees, motivating, motivation, relationships
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November 16th, 2009
Attracting proactive people isn’t easy, but it’s well worth the effort.
Every entrepreneur wants a talented, ambitious team. But finding, hiring and managing standout employees can be quite a challenge.
When Kevin Schaff started Thought Equity Motion six years ago, the idea was to sell pre-produced commercials made from stock video.
As the business evolved, however, it became clear that the emerging market opportunity was actually in licensing online video. Schaff, 35, decided to refocus the company on becoming the world’s largest repository of real time search, preview and online delivery for motion-based content. The industry “was fragmented,” says Schaff, who is also the company’s CEO. “We wanted to pull it all together.”
Today, Denver-based Thought Equity Motion works with content partners and clients including Paramount, National Geographic, the NCAA, Saturday Night Live, 30 Rock, and Mad Men. “You can’t watch T.V. for 30 minutes and not see our product,” Schaff says. The company’s sales exceed $15 million a year.
Does he ever wish he could hit the fast forward button during job interviews to see which applicants would be the best employees? “Oh yeah,” he says. “People are by far the most expensive mistake we make.”
Entrepreneurs Still Struggle With Hiring
Small businesses need ambitious employees who can take initiative to get the job done. And small employers now have an opportunity to upgrade their workforce since the number of available job candidates has grown.
There’s evidence that small employers are putting more emphasis on soft skills: 50 percent of small business owners in an October Intuit Payroll survey say they would rather hire a flexible “people person” or a “jack of all trades” instead of a highly-specialized “creative genius” or “math whiz.”
The recession also has employees rethinking what they want in a job. An August CareerBuilder report found nearly 60 percent of workers surveyed were interested to work for a small business, and 20 percent of workers laid off from fulltime jobs over the last year had found jobs at small businesses.
These numbers are compelling for two reasons, says Jason Ferrara, CareerBuilder’s vice president of corporate marketing. First, they show the relevance of small businesses in a poor economy. Second, they say something about job seekers. “Not everyone wants to work for a large, multi-national company,” Ferrara says.
The good news? Small employers have a very large, interested applicant pool at their fingertips. The bad news? Small business hiring is up only 1.9 percent so far this year while salaries are down 6.5 percent, according to data from online small business payroll company SurePayroll. Many small businesses have trimmed workweeks to avoid layoffs–something that’s not always a great selling point with the most sought-after applicants. “What we’re seeing right now is a very strong level of underemployment,” says SurePayroll President Michael Alter.
Ferrara still sees small employers struggling to define their “employment brand,” or the company’s purpose and the type of workers it needs, while grappling with a resume deluge. When small companies do pinpoint the very best applicants, they can fall short in selling them on future opportunities for advancement. “Large companies do a better job at this,” Ferrara says. “As an entrepreneur, you’re more concerned about communicating the financial [aspects] of the company.”
Attracting the Best and Brightest
Kara Goldin, founder and CEO of Hint, a San Francisco company that produces a line of naturally sweetened water products, says finding referrals is the ticket to attracting the best people in the recession. “If there’s a reference from somebody in the beverage industry who has worked with this person–or even a grocery chain that has worked with this person–it definitely helps,” says Goldin, whose company generates more than $1 million in sales annually.
Applicants have approached Hint with a great resume in hand, but Goldin, 42, still wants to know they’ve done their research. She remembers being impressed when Hint current head of sales contacted the company to say it was on his short list of desirable employers, and went on to explain why. “He’s terrific, and he could have gone to a lot of [companies],” she says. “He was really selling us on why he loved the product, and what he said made a ton of sense to us.”
Thought Equity has pulled its employees into the recruitment process by paying them a bonus for referring talented applicants who get hired. Encouraging employees to recruit their new coworkers has been very effective, says Schaff, who estimates 90 percent of the company’s new hires are coming to the company via referral.
The company still receives about 100 resumes every day–mainly from younger applicants. Jobs in technology and development can still be very tough to fill. The company must also constantly re-recruit its best employees as competitors try to upgrade their workforces. “Good people are always being recruited, and you always have to focus on making sure that you can retain them,” Schaff says.
Ultimately, attracting talented, self-directed employees requires great positioning, great messaging and a great understanding of what they want in a job. Financial incentives don’t hurt, either: Hint offers its 25 employees equity in the company, something Goldin sees as a big motivator for the most talented, ambitious employees.
Alter predicts Main Street’s recovery will be slow as small business owners get their existing employees back up to full employment plus overtime before they start hiring new people. Still, he’s encouraged that small business wages have been declining at a shallower pace in recent months. “This tells me that we’re hitting bottom, and as we start to hit bottom we will recover,” he says. “I just don’t see a big, robust recovery.”
Strong recovery or not, Goldin plans to increase Hint’s headcount in 2010. “As we open with stores across the country, we’ll definitely need salespeople to manage those accounts,” she says.
Exceptional talent is out there, provided entrepreneurs can sell them on the opportunity and turn them loose on the job. Says Ferrara: “You should be hiring people who are smarter than you.”
Chris Penttila is a freelance journalist whose work has also appeared in The Costco Connection, Oregon Business magazine, QSR Magazine, TheStreet.com and other publications. She lives in the Chapel Hill, NC, area and covers workplace issues on her blog, Workplacediva.blogspot.com.
Tags: employee rewards, employees, motivate, motivate employees
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September 27th, 2009
Emplicity an Irvine human resources outsourcing service, gives its employee of the month something more than a plaque. It’s the use of an E-class Mercedes Benz with “Employee of the Month” on the side.
Here’s the first winner Lorraine Ontiveros, 23, with her company-supplied ride:
 Lorraine Ontiveros The company calls its employee recognition “Driving to Success” and has employees vote on their peer who best exemplifies the chosen theme for the month.
Ontiveros was the landslide winner in July for the theme: “positive attitude.”
“The first time I drove the car, people were waving, giving me a thumbs up and even taking pictures of the car and it was a bit distracting, in a good way,” Ontiveros says.”It kinda felt like I had the paparazzi following me.”
In August she passed the keys to Jennifer Meehan, who fellow employees decided best exemplifies “excellent teamwork.”
 Vic Tanon, Emplicity founder Emplicity founder Vic Tanon says he’s always trying to figure out how to reward and incentivize employees, which isn’t that easy in a recession.
“We have a lot of Gen Y employees who want recognition in different ways,” he says. “We wanted to make a loud statement when recognizing our employees and felt that a nice ride would give people something they could proudly take home and show to mom and dad and to their friends.”
Emplicity is a 14-year-old professional employer organization plus outsourced human resources service. It has 35 employees and offices in Irvine, San Francisco, Sacramento, San Antonio and Los Angeles.
The monthly award also helps emphasize core company values, Tanon says. Each month’s theme is one value re-enforced on a daily basis.
Employee recognition is a communication tool that reinforces and rewards the actions and behaviors you most want to see people repeat, says Susan Heathfield at About.com.
Her “Five Most Important Tips for Effective Recognition” include:
- Establish criteria for what performance or contribution constitutes rewardable behavior or actions.
- All employees must be eligible for the recognition.
- The recognition must supply the employer and employee with specific information about what behaviors or actions are being rewarded and recognized.
- The recognition should occur as close to the performance of the actions as possible, so the recognition reinforces behavior the employer wants to encourage.
- Don’t want to design a process in which managers select the people to receive recognition.
Tags: awards, employee rewards, employees, incentive programs, rewards
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July 5th, 2009
We show how you can start, run and grow your business for, you guessed it, free.
Over the decades–heck, even centuries–philosophers, politicians, tycoons and other leaders have insisted that you can’t get something for nothing: “There’s no such thing as a free ride,” or “Nothing in life is free.” Well-known economist Milton Friedman once said, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Even Entrepreneur columnist Robert Kiyosaki’s rich dad told him the same thing.
But in our evolving Web 2.0 world and with Google leading the way, the rules have changed: You can get something for nothing–and for entrepreneurs, that something can have a significant impact on their businesses. Today, the web is full of free tools to help entrepreneurs start, run and grow their businesses for next to nothing. It’ll just cost you some time and an internet connection.
Gary Vaynerchuk, co-founder of Wine Library, has been taking advantage of free business tools for nearly three years to grow his 11-year-old wine retail business. Using a combination of web-based tools, such as social networking, blogging and video, he’s taken his company to annual sales of $50 million. His success with these tools has even landed him two book deals and regular speaking engagements across the country. “Building brand equity and connecting with your consumers through these social tools has a global impact on your business and your brand,” says Vaynerchuk, 33, who launched Wine Library with his father, Sasha, 65.
Springfield, New Jersey-based Wine Library uses Facebook, MySpace and Twitter to notify its “friends” about daily specials, something it used to do solely through e-mail. Its Facebook presence includes a custom app called Ask Gary, where people can ask questions about wine. And the company keeps a regular video blog, Wine Library TV. “Viral aspects of your message explode once you use these tools,” says Vaynerchuk. “When I think about how much brand equity I have with Wine Library TV and how quickly it happened for [so little cost], the fact that I spent millions of dollars building the brand prior to using these tools makes me want to throw up.”
As Vaynerchuk has found, “customers appreciate the interaction,” says Mike Whaling, president of 30 Lines, a social media marketing company that helps businesses expand their brands’ online reach. “Traditionally, it was one way. It was shouting: brochures, white papers, advertisements. Now it’s much more focused on multimedia and engagement.” And whereas brochures and advertising of days past had a price tag, more and more of today’s tools are free.
But aside from the obvious (duh, it’s free), what does this surge of tools mean for small businesses? “It starts to level the playing field,” says Whaling. “It gives small businesses the opportunity to put themselves out there and really compete with the larger companies.”
“It allows a little guy to look like a big guy,” says Drew McLellan, owner and CEO of McLellan Marketing Group. “It makes a small business look very sophisticated.” For example, an entrepreneur can build a website easily with various blogging and web design options. A company can launch a targeted marketing campaign across numerous social networks. A business owner can manage calendars, clients and projects using different collaborative and project management software. All for free!
Alison Boris and Kathi Chandler, 38 and 31, respectively, have been capitalizing on free tools since nearly the inception of their Los Angeles-based online bag boutique, AllyKatStyle, in 2007. Like Vaynerchuk, they’ve created a MySpace page for their company. They also have profiles on Digg and StumbleUpon, which are community-centric content sharing sites, to drive traffic to allykatstyle.com. Outside of the popular social networking tools, they use QuantCast (embedded in the website) to monitor traffic, frequency, demographics, geographics and more, and Skype is their official business phone. Says Chandler, “They’re great grass-roots tools to drive traffic to the site and provide free advertising through bloggers and word-of-mouth.”
Communication/E-mail
Dimdim: open-source web conferencing application; free basic service
I Want Sandy: keeps track of daily details
Jott: voice-to-text service for creating notes, lists, e-mails and text messages; free basic service
Oovoo: video messaging, chatting and conferencing
Paltalk: group IM, chat and video call application
Plugoo: direct chatting with any blog or site visitor
YouSendIt: send files up to 2GB; free basic service
Storage
Adrive: 50GB of online storage and backup for all file types; free basic service
JZip: data compression utility
Mozy: 2GB of online, data and remote backup solutions; free basic service
Financial
BizEquity: company valuations
Mint: personal finance, money management, budget planning and financial planning software
MyBizHomepage: financial dashboard for small business QuickBooks users
QuickBooks: small-business accounting software; free download (Simple Start 2008)
Wesabe: financial advice, analysis and planning
Content/Media/Video
Audacity: open-source software for cross-platform audio recording
Blip.tv: video blogging, podcasting and video sharing service; free basic service
BlogTalkRadio: radio network for users to host their own shows
DropShots: video hosting and photo sharing
FeedBurner: media distribution services for blogs and RSS feeds
Fix My Movie: video enhancement service; free basic service
Paint.NET: image and photo editing software
Phixr: picture and photo editor
Seesmic: video conversation platform
SlideShare: share and embed slideshows, PowerPoints and PDFs into web pages
VideoSpin: video-editing software
Marketing/Networking/PR
Blogger: blog publishing tool
Craigslist: online classifieds and job postings network
CollectiveX: create social networking and collaboration sites for groups
Entrepreneur Connect: Entrepreneur’s social networking site
LinkedIn: business social networking site
Pligg: open-source, community-centric site for discovering, rating and sharing content
PolicyMap: geographic and demographic information system for creating custom maps, tables and charts; free basic service
YouNoodle: networking for startups and valuation with Startup Predictor
Your Pitch Sucks?: PR pitch reviewing and advising
Office Productivity/Organizational
Adobe Buzzword: collaborative word processor application
CutePDF Writer: PDF creator; free basic service
Dabble DB: create, manage and share online databases; free basic service
Doodle: schedule and coordinate meetings and other appointments
FreshBooks: invoicing, time-tracking and expense service; free basic service
Google Calendar: shareable calendar and schedule organizer
Google Docs: collaborative word processor and spreadsheet applications
OpenOffice.org: open-source office software suite for word processing, spreadsheets and more
Stikkit: organization and reminder system that integrates with productivity applications
SurveyMonkey: create and publish custom online surveys; free basic service
ThinkFree Office: office productivity suite; free basic service
WuFoo: HTML form builder for creating interactive forms; free basic service
Zoho: office, productivity and collaboration applications
Project Management/Collaboration
LogMeIn: remotely support and access digital information; free basic service
ProjectStat.us: project management solution and updates
Project2Manage: collaborative project management solution
Remember the Milk: task management solution and to-do lists
Socialtext: wiki and website collaboration; free basic service
Team Task: collaborative project management and community website builder
Yugma: web meeting and collaboration service
Security
Adeona: open-source laptop tracking and recovery software
BitDefender Online Scanner: virus scanners; free basic service
ZoneAlarm: firewall protection from hackers and threats; free basic service
Web
Google Alerts: e-mail updates based on choice of query or topic
KickApps: platform of applications to integrate social features into a website
Microsoft Office Live Small Business: create a company website, domain and e-mail; free basic service
Synthasite: web hosting and building
Weebly: website and blog creator
Widgetbox: web widgets for various applications
Woopra: web tracking and analysis application; free basic service |
Originally published in the January 2009 issue of Entrepreneur Magazine
Tags: branding, employees, incentive, marketing, marketing incentives, rewards
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June 30th, 2009
As you begin to understand the four styles of communicators and how they act and respond to the world around them, you will be able to better understand your own style and identify the style of the people around you. To help you understand each style, here are a few key descriptions to help you picture each one.
Steady Relater
- Relationship-oriented
- Moves, acts and speaks slowly
- Avoids risk
- Wants tranquility and peace
- Enjoys teamwork
- Good counseling skills
Interacting Socializer
- Relationship-oriented
- Moves, acts and speaks quickly
- Risk-taker
- Wants excitement and change
- Enjoys the spotlight
- Good persuasive skills
Cautious Thinker
- Task-oriented
- Moves, acts and speaks slowly
- Wants to be accurate
- Enjoys solitary, intellectual work
- Cautious decision-makers
- Good problem-solving skills
Dominant Directors
- Task-oriented
- Moves, acts and speaks quickly
- Wants to be in charge
- Gets results through others
- Makes decisions quickly
- Good administrative skills
© 2007 Tony Alessandra
Always hold your ground In January of 1945, on a French battlefield during World War II, United States 2nd Lieutenant Audie Murphy’s unit was attacked by six tanks and waves of enemy infantry.
What happened next is the stuff of legends.
In the face of a seemingly insurmountable enemy and against all odds, Audie Murphy grabbed a .50-caliber machine gun and, with bullets flying past him, held his ground.
His heroic actions saved the lives of the men in his unit and earned him recognition as a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient.
What’s more, Murphy, as countless other Medal of Honor recipients before and after him, forged an epic legacy and left an indelible success lesson from which we can all learn and benefit: Always hold your ground.
Tags: employees, recognition, recognition programs
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August 29th, 2008
No matter what area of Business you are in, it all boils down to:
Meeting People
Making Appointments Opportunities for presentations and… The possibility of new business!
There are a lot of ATTITUDES that can come together to make this happen . . . But one of mine that I underscore again and again is to: “Live each day with a Do it Now! attitude.”
I have learned both personally and from study that success doesn’t result from luck or random chance. Success never just “happens to the fortunate few.” Instead, achievers make their own opportunities in business and in life by doing more than daydreaming or vaguely desiring.
They possess a “DO IT NOW!” attitude that motivates them to take actions required to soar above the rest and bridge the gap between their dreams and reality.
Through the ages, philosophers, heads of state, commanding generals, athletes, and businesspeople – leaders and go-getters of all types – have tried to kindle the flame of imagination and light the fire of enthusiasm so that the people can glimpse the heights they might reach, the richness of rewards they might savor, and the happiness they might enjoy.
The early Greek philosopher Plato said that if people would move the world, they must first move themselves. This statement offers one of the enduring truths of all time. To accomplish any personally meaningful and productive results, translate all of your ideas, your plans, and your decisions into immediate action.
The worst handicap any person can possess is the insidious habit of procrastination. Procrastination is responsible for missed opportunities, low productivity, and general dissatisfaction with life.
The most BRILLIANT IDEA, The most IMPORTANT DECISION, or The BIGGEST PROSPECTIVE SALE you will ever make will happen only when you TAKE ACTION and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
Adopt a SPARK and FIRE of URGENCY, and you can turn your dreams and goals into reality!
A Do-It-Now attitude and self-generated urgency are universally available, and are the keys to success in your particular kind of business.
Anyone. . . including you. . . can become so motivated that you reach and surpass – important life goals.
The intensity of desire you develop depends on YOU; others cannot supply it for you.
And because I care about you, I want desperately in some way to help you achieve. . .
BUT THE TRUTH IS, the intensity of desire you develop depends on YOU and YOU ALONE – no one else can supply it for you.
You can’t be an achiever just because a family member was successful, or because your friends are successful business people. And although you can have mentors who give you guidance, they cannot succeed for you.
It is strictly in your hands. You are the only one responsible for your success.
SO. . .
Exercise initiative!
Always set goals.
Always put your plans in writing with specific deadlines.
Determine the time frames you will work.
Then not only take action, but take INTELLIGENT, RIGHT ACTION and proceed with unswerving singleness of purpose!
Adopt a DO IT NOW attitude, because: NOW IS THE TIME TO SUCCEED!!
Tags: employees, gift certificates, incentives, rewards
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August 24th, 2008
The secret life is the key to a quality life and that in turn is the key to a quality culture, products, and services. Once in New York City, I attended the Broadway play, The Secret Garden. The play was particularly poignant for me that evening because my mother had just died.
The Tony Award winning musical is the story of a young girl whose mother and father die of cholera in India as the play begins. She is sent to live with her uncle in a large British manor. The old house is filled with romantic spirits. As the restless girl explores the grounds of the estate, she discovers the entrance to the magical secret garden, a place where anything is possible.
When she first enters the garden, she finds that it appears to be dead, much like her cousin, a bedridden boy, and her uncle, still haunted by memories of his lovely wife who died giving birth to the boy. In harmony with natural laws and principles, the girl faithfully plants seeds and brings new life to the garden. As the roots are warmed and the garden cultivated, she brings about a dramatic transformation of her entire culture within one season.
In my many years of teaching and training, I have seen several such transformations brought about by proactive people who exercise principle-centered leadership and the Seven Habits in their secret, private, and public lives.
When I returned home to Salt Lake City the next day to speak at my mother’s funeral, I referred to the Secret Garden, because for me and many others, my mother’s home was a secret garden where we could escape and be nurtured by positive affirmation. In her eyes, all about us was good, and all that was good was possible.
Our Three Lives
We all live three lives: public, private, and secret. In our public lives, we are seen and heard by colleagues, associates, and others within our circle of influence. In our private lives, we interact more intimately with spouses, family members, and close friends. The secret life is where your heart is, where your real motives are the ultimate desires of your life.
Many executives never visit the secret life. Their public and private lives are essentially scripted by who and what precedes and surrounds them or by the pressures of the environment. And so they never exercise that unique endowment of self-awareness the key to the secret life where you can stand apart from yourself and observe your own involvement.
Courage is required to explore our secret life because we must first withdraw from the social mirror, where we are fed positive and negative feedback continuously. As we get used to this social feedback, it becomes a comfort zone. And we may opt to avoid self-examination and idle away our time in a vacuum of reverie and rationalization. In that frame of mind, we have little sense of identity, safety, or security.
Examine Your Motives
The most critical junctures in my life take place when I visit my secret life and ask, “What do I think? What do I believe is right? What should my motives be?” These are times when I choose my motives. One such time occurred when I first heard Dag Hammarskjold say, “It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual, than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses.” That statement had such a profound effect on me that I started to say to myself in regard to my relationships with other people, “Wait a minute it’s my life. I can choose whether I want to make reconciliation with this person or not. I can choose my own motives.”
One of the exciting fruits of the “secret garden” is an ability to consciously choose your own motives. Until you choose your own motives, you really can’t choose to live your own life. Everything flows out of motive and motivation that is the root of our deepest desires.
Now, when I get into a frustrating or perplexing situation, I enter into my secret life. That’s where I find not only motives but also correct principles; that’s where the inner wisdom is. As I learn to be proactive in exploring the secret life, I tap into self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and into the exercise of free will to choose another motive.
People who regularly explore their secret life and examine their motives are better able to see into the hearts of others, practice real empathy, bestow real empowerment and affirm worth and identity.
A healthy secret life will benefit your private and public lives in many ways. For example, when I’m preparing to give a speech, I read aloud a favorite discourse on faith, hope, and charity because it helps me to purify my motive. I lose all desire to impress. My only desire is to bless. And when I go to a public setting with that motive, I have great confidence and inner peace. I feel more love for the people and feel much more authentic myself.
Executives who attend our leadership training in the mountain setting of Sundance often tell me, “This is the first time in many years that I’ve done any soul searching. I’ve seen myself as if for the first time, and I’ve resolved that my life is going to be different. I’m going to be true to what I really believe.” Recently, many people have written me to say, “Your habits and principles have made the difference. I’d never really thought about some of them before, but I resonate with them.”
That’s because these principles are found in people’s secret life.
And yet most of us spend our busy days privately doing our thing, never pausing long enough to enter the secret life, the secret garden, where we can create masterpieces, discover great truths and enhance very aspect of our public and private lives.
Having a healthy secret life is the key to having a quality private and public life, as well as a quality culture, product or service.
Tags: benefits, dreams, employees, incentives, rewards
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June 30th, 2008
The Hebrew term for gratitude is hikarat hatov, which means, literally, “recognizing the good.” Practicing gratitude means recognizing the good that is already yours.
If you’ve lost your job, but you still have your family and health, you have something to be grateful for.
If you can’t move around except in a wheelchair but your mind is as sharp as ever, you have something to be grateful for.
If you’ve broken a string on your violin, and you still have three more, you have something to be grateful for.
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| When you open up to the trait of gratitude, you see clearly and accurately how much good there is in your life. |
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When you open up to the trait of gratitude, you see clearly and accurately how much good there is in your life. Gratitude affirms. Those things you are lacking are still there, and in reaching for gratitude no one is saying you ought to put on rose-colored glasses to obscure those shortcomings. But most of us tend to focus so heavily on the deficiencies in our lives that we barely perceive the good that counterbalances them.
There is no limit to what we don’t have and if that is where we put our focus, then our lives will inevitably be filled with endless dissatisfaction. This is the ethos that lies behind the great biblical proverb, “Who is rich? Those who rejoice in their own lot” (Pirkei Avot 4:1).
When you live charged with gratitude, you will give thanks for anything or anyone who has benefited you, whether they meant to or not. Imagine a prayer of thanks springing to your lips when the driver in the car next to you lets you merge without protest, or when the water flows from the tap, or the food is adequate?
When gratitude is this well established, it is a sign of a heart that has been made right and whole. Gratitude can’t coexist with arrogance, resentment, and selfishness. The Hasidic teacher Rebbe Nachman of Breslov writes, “Gratitude rejoices with her sister joy and is always ready to light a candle and have a party. Gratitude doesn’t much like the old cronies of boredom, despair and taking life for granted.”
To what and whom should we feel thankful? In the Torah, when Moses brought the plagues onto Egypt, he wasn’t the one who initiated turning the Nile River into blood and bringing frogs from the river. His brother Aaron invoked those plagues. The medieval commentator Rashi explains that since the river had protected Moses when he was an infant, he could not start a plague against it. God was teaching Moses a powerful lesson in gratitude: we can open in gratitude even to inanimate objects.
Whenever Rabbi Menachem Mendel, the Kotzker Rebbe, replaced a pair of worn out shoes, he would neatly wrap up the old ones in newspaper before placing them in the trash, and he would declare, “How can I simply toss away such a fine pair of shoes that have served me so well these past years!?” I felt the same way when I gave away my 1984 Honda that had ferried me so reliably for 18 years.
The Mussar teacher Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian (1872 – 1970) was once talking to a student after prayers, and at the same time was folding up his tallis [prayer shawl]. The tallis was large and he had to rest it on a bench to fold it. After he had finished the folding, Reb Elyah noticed that the bench was dusty, and so he headed out to fetch a towel to wipe it off. The student to whom he was speaking realized what Reb Elyah was doing and ran to get the towel for him. Reb Elyah held up his hand. “No! No! I must clean it myself, for I must show my gratitude to the bench upon which I folded my tallis1.”
If we can be grateful to rivers, shoes, cars, and benches, which help us involuntarily, how much more so to human beings who have free will and who help us consciously out of the goodness of their hearts? Or to the mysterious source out of which our lives have come? When Leah, wife of the patriarch Jacob, had her fourth child, she named him “Yehudah,” which means, “I am grateful,” to reflect her gratitude to God for the gift of another son. The name Yehudah is the source of the Hebrew name of the Jewish people (Yehudim), revealing the very direct tie between Judaism and gratitude.
Gratitude opens the heart and that’s why it provides a fine orientation equally to the inanimate, human and divine dimensions of the world.
A simple and effective way to practice gratitude is by making giving thanks part of your everyday life. For example, it is an established Jewish practice to recite 100 such blessings a day. The term for “blessing” in Hebrew is bracha, which comes from the same root as the Hebrew word for “knee.” When you say a blessing, it is as if you have bent your knee in an act of gratitude. The habit of saying blessings can remind you to be thankful when you hit a green light, or the salad is fresh, or the garden is getting the rain it needs, or your child came home from school as usual.
Can you see how such a practice might slowly but insistently change your orientation to the world and your life?
By Dr. Alan Morinis
Tags: employees, incentive, recognition, reward
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June 15th, 2008
There’s an English proverb that goes: “One father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters.”
Fathers can teach their children many important lessons. Father’s Day is Sunday, June 15, and it brings to mind some of the valuable lessons I learned from my father, Jack Mackay. I’ve shared many of them with you in my books and columns, but here they are, in one nice package, for the 64.3 million fathers out there.
My dad headed the Associated Press in St. Paul, Minn., for many years. He lived by deadlines. When he told his 10-year-old fishing partner, “Be at the dock at 7:30 a.m.” and I arrived at 7:35, I would be holding my fishing pole in one hand and waving bon voyage with the other. Time management 101.
When I began my career selling envelopes, I asked my father how I could make twice as much money as my fellow sales reps.
He asked me how many sales calls my peers made every day. I told him that everyone made about five calls a day, and I could match them call for call.
“No good,” he said. “Do what they do and you’ll make what they make. Figure out how you can get to 10 calls a day and your income will double.”
We worked out a game plan, which became a life plan. I learned when the buyers were in the office and worked according to their schedules, which sometimes meant anytime from 6 a.m.-8 p.m. and Saturday mornings. I quit making cold calls, was among the first to get a cell phone and learned many other time management tips from my father.
TRUST is the most important five-letter word in business and in life. When I was only eight years old, he said: “Son, would you like to learn a lesson that might save your life some day?”
“Sure I would, Dad,” I answered.
“Just slide down the banister and I’ll catch you,” he urged.
I slid … and landed on the carpet. As I dusted myself off, he announced, “Never trust anyone completely. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you.”
Similarly, my father encouraged me at a young age to keep track of all the people I met on Rolodex cards, now on my computer. He was a master networker. He knew where to get stories, much like I learned where to get sales.
Maybe the most important lesson my father taught me was that your best network will develop from what you do best. In my case that was golf. When I joined the sales game after college, where I had been a varsity golfer at the University of Minnesota, my father suggested I join Oak Ridge Country Club, which I couldn’t afford. Because Oak Ridge was historically at the bottom of the city golf league, I offered to play for them and try to win them a championship. Six months and numerous meetings later, I was admitted to the club where I gained access to many of the major companies around town.
My father also taught me that the big name on the door doesn’t mean diddly. You have to know who the decision makers are.
In addition, he warned me against telling anyone how I vote. That’s why it’s a secret ballet. The Democrats think I’m a Republican, and the Republicans believe I’m a Democrat.
My father’s greatest professional attribute was his nose for a good story and his indefatigable zeal in getting it. He taught me the same desire, determination and persistence for sales.
After a skiing accident that landed me in the hospital for 35 days in neck traction, he told me, “You can take any amount of pain as long as you know it’s going to end.”
My father taught me many more life lessons, among them:
- They don’t pay off on effort . . . they pay off on results.
- No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride.
- He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer.
- Education is like exercise. As soon as you quit you begin to lose the benefits.
- It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re dressed like a turkey.
- If you win say little. If you lose say less.
- We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start.
Mackay’s Moral: One person can make all the difference in the world—a father, for example.
Our Father’s HANDY LITTLE CHART - GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:
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YOU SAY
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GOD SAYS
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BIBLE VERSES
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PASS THIS ON. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY BE IN NEED
The first sentence is pretty powerful!
God determines who walks into your life….it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.’
Tags: employees, incentives, rewards
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June 10th, 2008
We all get nervous when it is our turn at the podeum. Those in the audience wait in anticipation about what they are about to hear. You have a presentation to do, let’s get started!
Here are a few easy steps for a quality presentation:
1) Identify the general and specific purposes of your presentation.
2) Clarify your objectives by asking yourself and a few others questions about the subject.
- What do you want your audience to gain?
- What has been asked for by the organizers or by promised to the audience?
- What value can I, personally, add to this topic?
- What is the best way to present the subject matter?
- Will I create a fun interactive environment or is the subject matter more serious requiring more hand outs?
- How can I best make it worth the time and/or money the audience is investing in attending?
3) Create a “brain dump” of all you know about the topic.
4) Identify additional potential sources of information.
5) Gather all the information to make it modular.
- Categorize the information to make it modular.
- Analyze it for relevance and value
- Sequence the information
- Prioritize
- Fine-Tune
6) Create an outline.
- Chronological
- Narrative
- Cause/effect
- Problem/solution
- Topical
- Journalistic
Create an outline of your presentation by using Post It Notes. Then move them around as you develop your presentation.
The three C’s of Powerful Presenting:
Clarity
Consciousness
Conviction/passion
Tags: employees, incentives, rewards
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