Do as I say, not as I do.

How many times have we heard—or practiced—that bit of advice?

If you ask me, that’s the cowardly way out. We lead by example, whether in business, family or friendships. So why would we expect anyone to do as we say, not as we do, if the two are in conflict with one another?

I just returned from Shanghai, China, where I spoke to 1,500 Chinese entrepreneurs and business people. While over there I heard the Chinese proverb, “Reserve the square-inch plot for your descendants to till.” I didn’t understand the meaning, but the explanation was intriguing: The “square-inch plot” is the heart, and the meaning is that parents must leave a good example to be followed by their children.

This brought back memories from my childhood and probably yours too. Do you remember the saying, “Monkey see, monkey do”? That’s how most kids learn. And kids, of course, grow up to be adults, who usually continue to follow examples set for them.

Famous child psychiatrist Fritz Redl used to say to groups of parents: “Get out your paper and pencils. I am going to tell you the three most important things you will ever need to know about raising children—example, example and example.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re raising children or managing people, setting a good example is one of the most important leadership skills. You have to practice what you preach. Where we go and what we do advertises what we are.

Marshall Field, who founded the famous retail chain, always told employees there were 12 things to remember: “The value of time, the success of perseverance, the pleasure of working, the dignity of simplicity, the worth of character, the power of kindness, the influence of example, the obligation of duty, the wisdom of economy, the virtue of patience, the improvement of talent and the joy of originating.”

“The influence of example” is extremely important in business and life.

Actor Martin Sheen told this story: “One day a young mother brought her young child to the famous Indian leader Gandhi and said, ‘Please, Gandhi, you must tell my son to stop eating sweets.’

“Gandhi thought for a moment, then replied, ‘Well, all right, can you come back in two days?’

“The mother agreed and came back with her child in exactly two days. Gandhi took the child aside and said, ‘Don’t eat sweets.’

“‘Is that all?’ said the puzzled mother, and Gandhi said, ‘Yes.’

“‘But why couldn’t you have said that two days ago?’ asked the mother.

“‘Because,’ replied Gandhi, ‘two days ago I was still eating sweets.’”

You see, Gandhi practiced what he preached.

The Think & Grow Rich Newsletter shared the story of how the Federal Express field organization was having difficulty improving the accuracy of airbill documents, which are used to prepare invoices. Accuracy was vital but the error rate hovered around 10 percent no matter how much pressure was exerted on managers.

A senior vice-president called in one of his managing directors and told him: “The airbill error rate is really killing us. Would you please take a couple of your stations and ask the employees there to figure out a way to improve the accuracy to at least 99.5 percent? When they succeed, I’d like to use their approach as the model for our entire worldwide system.”

About six weeks later, the director called and said, “We did even better than you expected. There were only 51 errors all month out of the 21,000 airbills submitted.”

You can guess how the story ends. The entire company followed the example set for them, and the error rate for the whole Federal Express system soon improved from 10 percent to .5 percent.

Set a good example, and you can leave a lasting mark. Consider the duck. A duck is perhaps two feet long. Watch it move through water on a lake, and while you may not be able to see it paddling furiously below the surface, the wake the duck leaves behind fans out about 40 degrees, and the ripples follow for 50 feet or so. That duck leaves a wake nearly 600 times its size!

Now consider your actions. Will your example have the same effect?

The United States is experiencing an explosion of latin growth. By 2010 1 in 5 Americans will be Hispanic. Currently, there are 44.3 million Hispanics in this country representing  47% of the country’s purchasing power. California and Texas have 50% of the Hispanic population.

Hispanic young men are at an average age of 18 with white/non-Hispanics only at 27.6% is under 9 years of age. The countries coveted purchasing power being from 18 to 35 years old.

Latino owned business growth according to the 1997 Economic Census. In March of 2001 nearly 6% of all U.S. businesses were Latino owned.

As the Latin population continues to climb researchers and marketers are rushing to learn more about this culture and how it is changing our country.  

Knowledge fueled by emotion equals action. Action is the ingredient that ensures results. Only action can cause reaction. Further, only positive action can cause positive reaction.

Action. The whole world loves to watch those who make things happen, and it rewards them for causing waves of productive enterprise.

I stress this because today I see many people who are really sold on affirmations. And yet there is a famous saying that “Faith without action serves no useful purpose.” How true!

I have nothing against affirmations as a tool to create action. Repeated to reinforce a disciplined plan, affirmations can help create wonderful results.

But there is also a very thin line between faith and folly. You see - affirmations without action can be the beginnings of self-delusion. And for your well-being there is little worse than self-delusion.

The man who dreams of wealth and yet walks daily toward certain financial disaster and the woman who wishes for happiness and yet thinks thoughts and commits acts that lead her toward certain despair are both victims of the false hope which affirmations without action can manufacture. Why? Because words soothe and, like a narcotic, they lull us into a state of complacency. Remember this: TO MAKE PROGRESS YOU MUST ACTUALLY GET STARTED!

The key is to take a step today. Whatever the project, start TODAY. Start clearing out a drawer of your newly organized desk … today. Start setting your first goal… today. Start listening to motivational cassettes … today. Start a sensible weight-reduction plan … today. Start calling on one tough customer a day … today. Start putting money in your new “investment for fortune” account … today. Write a long-overdue letter … today. ANYONE CAN! Even an uninspired person can start reading inspiring books.

Get some momentum going on your new commitment for the good life. See how many activities you can pile on your new commitment to the better life. Go all out! Break away from the downward pull of gravity. Start your thrusters going. Prove to yourself that the waiting is over and the hoping is past — that faith and action have now taken charge.

It’s a new day, a new beginning for your new life. With discipline you will be amazed at how much progress you’ll be able to make. What have you got to lose except the guilt and fear of the past?

Now, I offer you this challenge: See how many things you can start and continue in this — the first day of your new beginning

In the process of living, the winds of circumstances blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives.We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak. Why, then, would each of us, in our own individual ship of life, all beginning at the same point, with the same intended destination in mind, arrive at such different places at the end of the journey? Have we not all been blown by the winds of circumstances and buffeted by the turbulent storms of discontent?

What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the way we have chosen to set our sail. The way that each of us thinks makes the major difference in where each of us arrive. The major difference is the set of the sail.

The same circumstances happen to us all. We have disappointments and challenges. We all have reversals and those moments when, in spite of our best plans and efforts, things just seem to fall apart. Challenging circumstances are not events reserved for the poor, the uneducated or the destitute. The rich and the poor have marital problems. The rich and the poor have the same challenges that can lead to financial ruin and personal despair. In the final analysis, it is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we have struggled to set the sail and then discover, after all of our efforts, that the wind has changed directions.

When the winds change, we must change. We must struggle to our feet once more and reset the sail in the manner that will steer us toward the destination of our own deliberate choosing. The set of the sail, how we think and how we respond, has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than any challenges we face. How quickly and responsibly we react to adversity is far more important than the adversity itself. Once we discipline ourselves to understand this, we will finally and willingly conclude that the great challenge of life is to control the process of our thinking.

Learning to reset the sail with the changing winds rather than permitting ourselves to be blown in a direction we did not purposely choose requires the development of a whole new discipline. It involves going to work on establishing a powerful, personal philosophy that will help to influence in a positive way all that we do and that we think and decide. If we can succeed in this worthy endeavor, the result will be a change in the course of our income, lifestyle and relationships, and in how we feel about the things of value as well as the times of challenge. If we can alter the way we perceive, judge and decide upon the main issues of life, then we can dramatically change our lives.

One of the biggest barriers that all people have to overcome on their journey of success is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of responsibility and commitment. And the big one – Fear of success. It is fear (and all of its cousins like worry, anxiety, depression and self-doubt) that will turn your dreams into a chilling nightmare. This nightmare can turn into something so daunting that it causes you to loose hope. It doesn’t have to be this way. Fear was never intended to put you in a state of paralysis.

The reality of fear is that fear is human. Fear is part of growing and it isn’t going away. It is part of every person’s life and exists in every success story. In all the research I did for my book, “Conquer Fear!” I heard story after story of successful people who experienced fear. The names would change. The circumstances were different. But the fear was the same – and very real. What I noticed was the successful person was willing to face and expose their fear.

The difference between a mediocre success and a breakthrough success is your willingness to deal with your fears.

What about you? What hidden fear are you ignoring that is causing you to repel success? Acknowledging the fear is the first step to defusing its power over you and taking control over your emotions and your life.

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That’s just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here’s something else we can see just as often: we can see that most people aren’t as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena?

It’s in your best interest to take responsibility for everything you do. But that’s only the beginning. Many times it’s even best to take responsibility for the mistakes of others, especially when you’re in a managerial or leadership role.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills.  

But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average in fact. But this low percentage didn’t really give a clear picture of Russell’s ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about twelve seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston’s players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.

This was a perfectly logical choice since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they’d still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers’ chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it’s an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he’d squat down and as he straightened up he’d let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.

But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else’s.  And, like magic, even if he’d missed every free throw he’d ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I’ve always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

“A Person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions.” - As A Man Thinketh

One of the great weaknesses of our society today is the growing attitude of victimization. Many people claim themselves to be victims of some outside force. “I had to file bankruptcy because of my ex-wife…”, “If my company hadn’t laid me off…”, “If that driver hadn’t pulled out in front of me…”

When we are victims of circumstances, or as James Allen says, a “creature of outside conditions”, we have no power. We have given over the power in our life to the circumstances. The longer we give power to our circumstances the worse or circumstances become.

In his book, “Above Life´s Turmoil”, Allen writes, “You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your thought world. Nothing appears without an adequate cause.”

To get control of our circumstances we must first acknowledge personal responsibility for being where we are. That was the hardest part for me because the “victim” in all of us doesn’t want to take that responsibility.

When we take the responsibility we must then take control of our thoughts. And, yes, in the beginning that can be hard. It seems sometimes that it’s our nature to first think negatively. But that’s just because it’s the habit we’ve developed. And like any habit, it can be changed by replacing it with the habit of thinking the right way.

One of my favorite teachers, Emmet Fox, writes: “You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because you were depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will change to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli were two of the fiercest political rivals of the 19th century. Their epic battles for control of the British Empire were marked by intense animosity that spilled over from the public arena into their personal lives. Ambitious, powerful, and politically astute, both men were spirited competitors and masterful politicians.

Though each man achieved impressive accomplishments for Britain, the quality that separated them as leaders was their approach to people. The difference is best illustrated by the account of a young woman who dined with the men on consecutive nights. When asked about her impression of the rival statesmen, she said, “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”

What distinguished Disraeli from Gladstone was charisma. Disraeli possessed a personal charm sorely lacking in the leadership style of his rival. His personal appeal attracted friends and created favorable impressions among acquaintances. Throughout his career, Disraeli’s charisma gave him an edge over Gladstone.

UNDERSTANDING CHARISMA
Of all leadership attributes, charisma is perhaps the least understood.
At first glance, charisma appears to be an invisible energy or magnetism. There’s no denying its presence, but it’s hard to put a finger on its source. Some mistakenly believe charisma is a birth trait— embedded in certain personalities, but completely absent in others.

I believe charisma is both explainable and learnable. I also believe charisma helps to boost a leader’s influence. That’s why I included it in my book, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. In this lesson, I’d like to examine the causes of charisma and teach you how to increase the charisma you display as a leader.

THE QUALITIES OF A CHARISMATIC LEADER
Charisma is defined as, “The ability to inspire enthusiasm, interest, or affection in others by means of personal charm or influence.” Leaders who have this special ability share four things in common:

1) They Love Life

Leaders who attract a following are passionate about life. They are celebrators, not complainers. They’re characterized by joy and warmth.
They’re energetic and radiant in an infectious way.

Look no further than the smile to illustrate the power of charisma. When people see a smile, they respond with a smile. If you’re skeptical, try it. Smile at cashiers, waiters, co-workers, etc. You’ll find your smile earns a reciprocate smile almost every time. We are hardwired to take on the energy of those around us. Leaders who love life have charisma because they fill the room with positive energy.

2) They Value the Potential in People

To become an attractive leader, expect the best from your people. I describe this behavior as “putting a 10 on everyone’s head.” Leaders see people, not as they are, but as they could be. From this vantage point, they help others to build a bridge from the present to a preferred future.

Benjamin Disraeli understood and practiced this concept, and it was one of the secrets to his charisma. He once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” When you invest in people and lift them toward their potential, they will love you for it.

3) They Give Hope

People have an inner longing to improve their future and their fortunes.
Charismatic leaders connect with people by painting tomorrow brighter than today. To them, the future is full of amazing opportunities and unrealized dreams.

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “Leaders are dealers in hope.” They infuse optimism into the culture around them, and they boost morale. While attentive to the current reality, they do not resign themselves to present circumstance.

4) They Share Themselves

Leaders with charisma add value to people by sharing wisdom, resources, and even special occasions. They embrace the power of inclusion, inviting others to join them for learning experiences, brainstorming sessions, or simply a cup of coffee. Such leaders embrace team spirit and value togetherness. As a result, charismatic leaders are not lonely at the top.

When it comes to charisma, the bottom line is other mindedness. For leaders, the greatest satisfaction is found by serving. They find great pleasure celebrating the successes of those around them, and the victory they enjoy the most is a team triumph.

SUMMARY
In closing, charisma has substance. It’s not manipulative energy or a magical gift endowed upon select personalities. Rather, it’s an attractive blend of learnable qualities.

Furthermore, charisma compounds a leader’s influence. Without it, leaders have trouble inspiring passion and energizing their teams. With it, leaders draw out the best in their people, give the best of themselves, and find the greatest fulfillment.

In order to have day, there must be night. In order to have cold, we must have hot. In order to have good, we must have bad.

This is one of the deepest lessons a human being can ever learn, and yet how many people truly understand it?

How many people continue to suppress, deny, and resist the negative… And continually strive for positive-positive-positive?

How many individuals believe PURELY in one side of life… And REFUSE to let in the other?

Let me explain the meaning behind a symbol I bet you know only too well…

Most people know it as the “Yin-Yang” symbol, but it’s actual name is the taijitu.

Apart from looking a “bit Eastern,” have you ever wondered what this symbol really means?

It represents the concept of “Yin and Yang”, which is ultimately the idea that everything arises in duality… and that you shouldn’t resist the opposite, because it will always be there.

Look at the symbol.

The Yin (predominantly black segment) and the Yang (mainly white) are co-dependant. They cannot exist without each other. They do not exclude each other.

In fact, they support each other.

And look at the coloured dots within each. This represents the idea that part of yin is in yang, and part of yang is in yin. It represents a seed, a reminder that there is always trace of one within the other.

In bad, there is a trace of good. In masculine, there exists some feminine. In black, there exists some white. In the dark sky, there exist bright stars.

It reminds us that the potential for change is always present.

Even in cold, there is a potential for hot!

The two dualities are often closer than you think.

So the next time you find yourself trying to resist anything in life, step back and ask yourself whether you’re really embracing the entire duality.

And if you’re not… Consider it.

 The cost of stamps keeps going up, but small and midsize businesses still need to mail catalogs, sale promotions, and reminders to clients and customers. Or do they?Online advertising expert Thomas Harpointner, chief executive of e-business marketing firm AIS Media, has some wise words about snail mail vs. e-mail. He addresses customers’ online security concerns, the (unavoidable) pitfalls of spam, and the future of online marketing (hint: smartphones).

bMighty: How will the rising postal rates affect smaller business’ use of the post office?

Thomas Harpointner: Businesses already have cut back on postal use. The rate hike is making the press, but now they will be raising the rates every year. Next May 1, it will be one more penny, at least. It could be much higher. With the rising cost of gasoline, any business that requires transporting goods will be affected. And we’ve already seen a 25% reduction in postal use by business.

E-mail is being used by virtually every type of business. There are some things that can’t be sent by e-mail–medical reports, credit reports, law firms’ documents and anything that needs to go through the post office; in some cases, the stamp makes the document official. Any official business will continue with postal mail, such as any type of a legal document that requires an original signature or postmark, for example, if a company is being sued.

Is there a way for those types of businesses to avoid snail mail?

Banks have found a way to circumvent the post office with direct deposit and paperless statements. Brokerage firms are also making statements available online. They don’t mail statements and they avoid cost of paper and ink. It’s also more environmentally friendly. And with the rise of fuel costs and postal costs, it’s cheaper.

What about customers who worry about security with e-mail?

Many customers prefer paperless statements. It’s voluntary, easily accessible, and they don’t have to worry about identity theft. The No. 1 complaint to the FTC [Federal Trade Commission] is identity theft. Until every mailbox has a padlock, anyone can get in. Banks are all guilty of this. Banks send these blank checks [to customers in the mail]. If somebody intercepts it and writes on the check, money comes right off the account. The postal service is still scarier than e-mail vis-à-vis identity theft.

If someone can open an envelope, they can have access to lots of financial records. A mailbox has no real security. It’s wide open to the world. Computers don’t steal, people steal.

People are afraid of using credit cards online, but they don’t have a problem handing it over to a waiter who disappears with it for 15 minutes. As long as confidential information isn’t sent in an e-mail but informing the user it’s available with login and password, it’s safer for their customers and cheaper for the business and more convenient for both.

What about the people who like having a hard copy?

If you get a coupon in the mail, how often do you have it on you in the store? But if it was sent via e-mail and you can pull it up in your BlackBerry and show the cashier? The big stores are starting to do that. Organizing your e-mail is easier than organizing your mail at home. Postal mail, people open over the trash can. Skeptics say much of e-mail goes to spam and junk, but I would argue that people open their postal mail [business and residential mail] over the trash! In one study, the average response from an e-mail marketing campaign is 4.5% versus 2% to 2.5% for a postal mail campaign.

So are we seeing the beginning of the end for postal mail?

I see no end to postal mail. But the type of postal mail we receive will be more targeted, more relevant. So small and midsize businesses should rate their communications of everything that gets e-mailed and mailed, and on a scale of one to 10, rate how important these pieces [are]. The very important pieces that have to be in paper–a document that requires a signature with blue ink, like a lease–needs to be in postal mail. But what about that reminder for a tooth cleaning? Does it need to be in the postal mail? Or the sales event at a local store? For small and midsize businesses [that] have been thinking about moving more stuff online, this is a push.

A lot of brochures are expensive to print and costly to send. Companies in all industries large and small have begun to digitize those documents, like brochures, case studies, and white papers. There is much less information being printed than there was. Salespeople can refer customers to a link where there’s a PDF, rather than mailing something.

What about the concern that a business’ e-mail will end up as spam?

You can’t avoid it. Business to consumer [postal] mail is easier to get through, but business-to-business e-mails have a much better chance of getting read than if they go by postal mail. Every executive has their own e-mail address, and it’s personal, but only one mailbox, and the administrator is the screener there. Marketing gets thrown in the trash at that decision point.

Eve Partners, a mergers-and-acquisitions firm for the trucking industry, started to do e-mail campaigns. They were trying to reach executives at certain firms. They started an e-mail weekly newsletter, and since they started, their CEO said they can’t handle the amount of inquiries they’re getting. If they had to print the newsletter and mail it, it may or may not get read.

The benefit of e-mail is there are more statistics available. With a postal campaign, if you send 1,000 pieces, you don’t know how many people opened and read it. With an e-mail system–we use Excerpo Mail [ Ed. note: an AIS Service]–you get a reporting system: How many were sent, deleted, opened and clicked on. Most of the better e-mail marketing systems have this. Postal mail can’t compete on that level. The sender of the e-mail has a clue. He can see if everything is being deleted. Maybe the message is becoming irrelevant.

Business to consumers is a little different, but more consumers have e-mail than ever before. Most consumers have their own e-mail address. Reaching consumers is effective with postal mail, but [it] still gets opened over the trash. E-mail is still more effective. The Direct Marketing Association reports that e-mail marketing has shown to deliver $51.45 ROI [return on investment] for every marketing dollar spent. Catalogs have been with us a long time, and they work well–$7.20 ROI. You can make more money with e-mail campaigns.

What is the next frontier in mail for smaller businesses?

A major catalyst in our industry–smartphones. They will become the de facto Internet device in the next few years. More and more people are using them to check e-mail and connect to the Internet, at the office or the airport. You can browse the Web, check e-mail and check statements. As more and more people have access to the Internet, e-mail marketing will grow. Even if it was more expensive, it would continue to grow, but the fact is that it is much less expensive. And with the reporting capabilities, people can instantly respond. Who doesn’t want a cheaper, faster, more effective way to do marketing? You can’t get access to postal mail easily if you’re traveling.

The printing industry is 60% smaller than it was in 1995. People are just not printing as much. Small and midsize businesses don’t have the IT power, the technological savviness, or the resources of large companies, but over time, they will adapt. They have access to e-mail, they can see it’s working, it’s just a matter of how to get into it.