February 16th, 2009
Positive self-expectancy is the first, most outwardly identifiable quality of a top-achieving, winning human being. Positive self-expectancy is pure and simple optimism: real enthusiasm for everything you do. And optimism is expecting the most favorable result from your own actions.
There never was a winner who didn’t expect to win in advance. Winners understand that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And they know that you usually get what you expect in the long run. So winners accept the belief that hope and a deep, unbreakable faith — forged into a fundamental attitude of positive self-expectancy — is the eternal spring from which all creative, motivating energy flows.
The idea that faith conquers all has been verified from biblical times to current-day medical histories to daily stories of heroism and come-from-behind victories and rags-to-riches success we read about every day in the newspapers. They’re human biographies of greatness we read about, hear about, and watch on TV. And we marvel over these special people who pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.
Let me ask you this: Did it ever occur to you that you, also, are one of these special people? Well, you are! You see, most of the real winners in life are so busy contributing, they don’t even think of seeking publicity for their acts. Most of them are discovered by the media, caught in the act of winning. Only a few famous people are winners, and only a few winners will become famous people. That’s because success is a very individual thing. Success is the way you spend your minutes doing your best for others. It is the way you take the talent you were born with, and the knowledge and skills you have since developed, and use them fully, toward a purpose that makes you feel worthwhile, according to your own individual, internal standards.
In your quest for excellence, there are two powerful sets of great expectations affecting your life. First, there are the expectations that others close to you have for you. And then there are the expectations that you have for yourself. While we all try to rise to the expectations others have for us, there is no question that our limitations and success will be based, most often, on our own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.
As a behavioral scientist studying the lives of thousands of winners and losers, I find that “psycho,” the mind, is your own best fortuneteller to forecast the actions of “soma,” the body. And understanding this mind-and-body, psychosomatic relationship is the key to understanding the importance of the first, most outwardly identifiable quality of a winner: that of positive self-expectancy. Winners expect another good day, a promotion, a raise, to find a parking place, a productive meeting, and a harmonious family life — and they usually get them. Winners know that their actions will be controlled by their current obsessions. Losers generally expect more of the same frustration, more problems, the loss of a job, a dull evening, bad service, and failure. Most importantly, losers expect to feel bad and get sick — and they do.
Careful studies of the life histories of thousands of widely differing people have shown that the probability of health changes, such as sickness, accident, even pregnancy, can be predicted. We are learning that all disease is not necessarily caused by germs. All of us have germs, but only a few become ill as a result. Instead, the cause of disease is loosely linked with the way individuals react to life. The link between stressful life changes, expectant anxiety, and health changes seems to be associated with the body’s immune system, which makes antibodies to fight foreign material and germs. Situations that arouse fear and anxiety suppress antibody production as well.
Distrustful situations may also upset production of hormones, which have a role in emotional balance. An emotionally upset individual is much more prone to accidents.
But what does all this have to do with positive self-expectancy and winning attitudes? Simply this: Mental obsessions DO have physical manifestations. You do become that which you fear. You get what you suspect. You are that which you expect to be. This power of the self-fulfilling prophecy is one of the most amazing phenomena of human nature. What do you expect for yourself? You should expect the best. The winners in life, believing in the self-fulfilling prophecy, keep their momentum moving upward by expecting better jobs, more money, good health, better family relationships, financial security, warm friendships, and success.
All really successful individuals fervently desire and expect to win — no matter what curve life throws at them. Think about Helen Keller, who graduated magna cum laude and devoted her entire life to the service of others, although she had been deaf and blind since infancy. Franklin Delano Roosevelt had polio. The modern artist Matisse created some of his best work when he was nearly blind, aged, and bedridden. A young woman named Patti Catalano overcame the self-destructive habits of overeating and chain-smoking to become one of the top 10 marathon runners in the world. I remember a little girl who took her optimism from the back streets of Harlem to the center court at Wimbledon — Althea Gibson. In spite of their handicaps, they expected to do their best. They wanted to achieve and expected to excel.
But there’s more to positive self-expectancy than meets the eye. Medical researchers have discovered that the body produces natural morphine-like substances that operate on certain receptor sites in the brain and spinal cord. These natural internal opiates are called endorphins. Secreted and used by the brain, endorphins reduce the experience and screen out unpleasant stimuli. In fact, the presence of endorphins actually causes the feeling of well-being.
In one related study, actors were wired to electrodes and connected to blood catheters. They were then asked to perform various scenes. When they portrayed characters who were angry or depressed, endorphin levels dropped. But when the scene called for emoting joy, confidence, and love, endorphin levels shot up dramatically. Science has shown that positive thoughts produce endorphins. Endorphins, in turn, encourage feelings of optimism and well-being. So it works both ways. You sing because you’re happy, and you’re happy because you’re singing. Sixty to 70 percent of the population who visit physicians are sick as a result of an emotional feeling of stress because of the pressure they feel from life. That’s why it’s critically important to remember that the key to winning positive self-expectancy is to understand that in the long run, every individual receives just about what he or she expects. And if you have faith that if you do things the right way, you’ll be rewarded accordingly — you’ll be a winner!
Optimism is a way of life. Some techniques for generating a greater attitude of positive self-expectancy include the following: First, look at problems as opportunities — search for the favorable aspects of every situation. Next, learn to stay relaxed and friendly, no matter how much pressure and tension you’re under. In the beginning, it’s likely that you’ll have to fake it. But the truth is that both calmness and courage are learned habits, and there’s no better way to learn a good habit than by actually getting in and doing it and living it. Next, and this is very important, in dealing with other people, instead of griping, try praising. In place of cynicism, try optimism. Instead of being unhelpfully critical, try being constructively helpful. You know these are learned habits, too. And everyone is dependent on others for at least part of their own positive self-expectancy.
And next, get excited and enthusiastic about your own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire. You can smell it, taste it, and see it a mile away. Everybody loves a winner. But nobody crowds around a loser’s locker room. Don’t run around with the doomsayers who look up and shout that the sky is always falling. Optimism and realism go together. They are the problem-solving twins. Pessimism and cynicism are the two worst companions. Surround yourself with the “no-problem, can-do’ type with big dreams like your own. It’s the excitement of the big dream that carries you through the setback that you encounter. The single most outwardly identifiable quality of a winner is positive self-expectancy — optimism. It’s the key to good health. It’s the key to happiness, and it puts the favorable inclination toward the achievement of every goal you set. Positive self-expectancy is the winner’s edge.
February 13th, 2009
Step #1: When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs.
I am going to work you through a six-step process of how to change, and it begins with thinking. It begins with the mind. Beliefs are nothing more than a by-product of what you have thought long enough about that you have bought into–always remember that. What you believe is a collection of continual thoughts that have formed themselves into a conviction.
“Although not all change is the same, there is one common element to change, and that is thinking.” That is a great truth. That is not mine, it’s out of a book called, The Seven Levels of Change. When you break down the process of thinking into manageable number of steps, you reduce the perceived risk associated with change. Being creative is when you think about your thinking, being innovative is when you act on your ideas.
Step #2: When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations.
Belief is the knowledge that we can do something. It is the inner feeling that what we undertake, we can accomplish. For the most part, all of us have the ability to look at something and know whether we can do it. So, in belief there is power: our eyes are opened; our opportunities become plain; our visions become realities. Our beliefs control everything we do. If we believe we can or we believe we cannot, we are correct. Accomplishment is more than a matter of working harder; it is a matter of believing positively. It’s called the “sure enough” factor. If you expect to succeed, “sure enough,” you will; if you expect to fail, “sure enough,” you will. We become outside what we believe inside.
Step #3: When you change your expectations, you change your attitude.
I love Ben Franklin’s quote: “Blessed is the one who expects nothing, for he shall receive it.” I heard a story the other day about a man who went to the fortuneteller who looked in the crystal ball and said, “Oh, my. This is not good. I look in this ball and see that you will be poor and unhappy until you’re 45 years old.” The guy said, “Oh, that’s terrible. Well, then what’s going to happen?” The fortuneteller said, “You’ll get used to it.”
Your expectations are going to determine your attitude. Most people get used to average; they get used to second best. Nelson Boswell said, “The first and most important step toward success is the expectation that we can succeed.”
Step #4: When you change your attitude, you change your behavior.
William James was right when he said, “That which holds our attention determines our action.” When our attitude begins to change, when we become involved with something, our behavior begins to change. The reason that we have to make personal changes is that we cannot take our people on a trip that we have not made. Too many leaders try to be travel agents instead of tour guides–they try to send people where they have never been. We give them a brochure and a “Bon Voyage!” And off they go and we wave to them, and we ask them to tell us how it was when they come back. A tour guide says, “Let me take you where I’ve been. Let me tell you what I have gone through. Let me tell you what I know. Let me show you what I’ve experienced in my life.”
Step #5: When you change your behavior, you change your performance.
Leroy Eims said, “How can you know what is in your heart? Look at your behavior. There is no better sign of the heart than the life.” The truest test of where a person is going is their behavior.
Unfortunately, most people would rather live with old problems than new solutions. We would rather be comfortable than correct; we would rather stay in a routine than make changes. Even when we know that the changes are going to be better for us, we often don’t make them because we feel uncomfortable or awkward about making that kind of a change.
Until we can get used to living with something that is not comfortable, we cannot get any better.
Step #6: When you change your performance, you change your life.
Change makes a person feel alone, even if others are going through it. You say, “Oh, man! Goodness! I know the others are changing, but I don’t think they’re having the difficulty I’m having.” There is something about the awkwardness and the time that it takes to make proper changes that just seems to isolate you from everyone else, even when a group is going through it together. You just kind of feel, “But my situation’s a little bit different, and I think I’m just not quite as fast as the other ones,” and there’s a tendency to feel isolated, lonely, and withdrawn when you’re going through this change.
It is easier to turn failure into success than an excuse into a possibility. A person can fail and turn around and understand their failure, make it a success; but I want to tell you–a person who makes excuses for everything will never truly succeed. I promise you, when you excuse what you are doing and excuse where you are, and you allow the exceptions, you fail to reach your potential. Don’t you know some people who just have an excuse for everything? Why they could not, should not, did not, would not, have not, will not. If “ifs” and “buts” were candies and nuts, we would all have a Merry Christmas. It is impossible to turn excuses into possibilities.
Hope is the foundational principle for all change. People change because they have hope. If people do not have hope, they will not change. You are responsible for the changes that you make in your life, but the good news is, you can make the changes you need to make in your life.
February 12th, 2009
The purpose of man is in action not thought – Thomas Carlyle
Often people will ask me how I get so much done in my life. They wonder at how I am able to accomplish so many things. The answer is found not in what a great person I am, but in an equation I came up with a few years ago and remind myself of on almost a daily basis. And when I live this equation out, it produces big results. What people don’t seem to grasp is that this equation will work for anybody! Anyone can see results in their life if they will live it out!
This little equation, when it is understood, and acted upon, is perhaps the most powerful equation there is in regard to long-term achievement and accomplishment. Yet, this is not a complex equation. In fact, it is rather simple. So what is it?
Your short-term actions multiplied by time equal your long-term accomplishments.
If you want to see change in your life, see big results, the first thing you must do is change your current actions. Otherwise the old saying becomes a reality: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got!” But if we change our actions, we will see different results!
Most people want to accomplish a lot in their lives. Yet very few actually do. Why is this? It is because what they believe will equal their long-term accomplishments is wrong. Here are some of the things that people believe will create great accomplishments for them:
The truth is that while these things are very important, they are not enough in and of themselves. We need to have the above underlying all that we do, but we need to actually do something! And this is where most people stop. We need to take action on our dreams and beliefs every day.
Here are some examples of how this works.
Who loses weight? The one who knows all about the benefits of exercise or the one who walks three miles a day?
Who retires early? The one who dreams of a house on the beach, or the one who invests $300 a month?
Who writes books? The one who desires to become a best-selling author, or the one who gets up early and writes for half an hour a day?
Who has the best marital relationship? The one who knows how much spending time with their spouse can improve their relationship, or the one who sits down and talks with their spouse every night?
Who makes the most sales? The one who believes they can become a great salesperson, or the one who makes 10 sales calls a day?
I think you get the point. When it all comes down to it, we must act upon our vision, beliefs, and ideals or we won’t see them come to fruition. I see too many people who know what is right, but don’t ever do anything about it. Imagine what a difference we could make in our own lives and the lives of others if we would simply begin to act upon on our beliefs!
When I get to the end of my life, I want to know that I have done all that I can to make this world a better place and to enhance the lives of those around me. I want to know that I gave it my best shot. And I am sure that you do to.
I remember reading an interview with an author who has written numerous books that have sold in the tens of millions. They asked him how he did it. His answer was that he got up every morning before anyone else in his family and wrote, long hand, with a pencil, for an hour. Then he quit and went about his day. But his short-term actions piled up. 7 hours a week. 30 hours a month. 365 hours a year. After a while, he had lots of books!
Some questions as we leave:
What long-term accomplishments do you want to see come to pass?
What short-term actions will you need to do over time to see them come to pass?
What will you do today to begin seeing your dreams come true?
What will you do this week to see them come true?
You can have an awesome future, filled with great achievements and results if you begin today to take action and make it a reality!
One more time, so you can plug it in, memorize it, and live it.
Your short-term actions multiplied by time equal your long-term accomplishments.
February 11th, 2009
Many people long for a better life. In fact, I think it is innate to humans to desire a better life. Wherever we are at, we look beyond and dream of a better place. That is good, and that is not so good. It is good because the dream is alive and we can see, even if it is far off, a better situation for us, our families and our businesses and communities. So why is it not good? It is not good because it is not yet a reality! A dream is no good if it is only a dream. Sure a dream can make you feel good, but long-term, if you don’t pursue it and make it a reality, it will cause you frustration more than anything. But there is hope!
I’m talking about the day your life really changes. The day that your dream begins to become a reality, and not some pie in the sky wish. This is the day life turns around for you, the day things begin to get better and you begin to fulfill your purpose, mission and destiny! When is this day?
It is the day you make a decision!
The key to changing your life is to make a decision, and then to act upon it. And once acted upon, to follow-through consistently until your dream becomes a reality.
So the decision is the key? Yes it is. Every dream begins as a thought. “I would love to have my own business, to be free to run my life and earn as much money as I want to and take as much vacation time as I want.” Good dream, isn’t it? Probably a dream that most of us have. But there it is, a little electrical impulse bouncing around inside our head. Does that do us any good? Only if it becomes action! And it only becomes action if we make a decision.
Let’s carry this example out. What are the decisions to be made here? Well, there are a few I can think of. One would be to quit your job. You can’t go into business for yourself until you quit your job (or your current boss will be quite upset!). Decide to do it and schedule an appointment with him or her. Walk in and quit! Another decision is to go get your business license. Schedule the time, go get the papers, fill them out, pay the money and register with the State. Bingo, you’re in business!
You must decide what you must do to make your dream a reality.
Then you must act upon those decisions. If you do not act, your dream becomes a pipe dream, a non-reality.
When you have acted, you must follow through. Continue to follow your plan, day by day, carrying your dream to completion.
Here is a practical exercise to get you moving:
What is your dream? It could be in any area of life: Work, family, finances, health etc.
What is a decision you have to make to get yourself MOVING in the right direction? This should be action oriented not philosophical in nature. For example it should be “I am going to resign on March 1st,” not “I’ve decided that being in business for myself would be more fulfilling.” That is an idea, not a decision.
Next, pick a day you are going to do it. Pick a time. Be specific.
Next, do it!
Next, begin the process of continually following-through.
Next, enjoy yourself; you are pursuing your dream! It may be hard but it will also be the most fulfilling and rewarding time of your life!
“The history of free men is not written by chance, but by choice – their choice.” Dwight D. Eisenhower
Decide, Act, Follow-through. The day you do will be the day you change your life – for good!
Made for Success Quote and Commentary
“Be ready when opportunity comes…Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” — Roy D. Chapin, Jr.
Sooner or later, your “break” will come. You will get your chance. The question is not whether or not opportunity will knock or if the door will open, but whether or not you will be thoroughly prepared to knock back and blow through that door! You certainly don’t want to have to tell your opportunity to “hold on for a minute while I go get ready!” I hate to tell you this, but opportunity can be an impatient suitor. If you can’t or won’t dance, he will find someone who will.
Action Point: What would be your “dream opportunity? Write it out. Now write out what you can do to be thoroughly prepared when you get the call. Write out what you can do to quicken the speed by which you will get your opportunity. When the pitch is thrown, you want to hit it out of the park!
February 10th, 2009
Who knew that two simple words could change one’s mindset, perspective and approach to work and life? Just two words have the potential to enhance joy, productivity, performance and change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart.
So often we say things like, “I have to take the kids to practice.” “I have to go to this meeting.” “I have to finish this project.” “I have to go to work today.” “I have to take care of this customer.” “I have to share this new information with my team.” “I have to see my family this weekend.”
We act as if we don’t have a choice. As if we are imprisoned by a paycheck and the expectations of a world that forces us to do things we don’t want to do. But in reality we do have a choice. We can choose our attitude and our actions. We can choose how we view our life and work. We can realize that every day is a gift. It’s not about what we have to do. It’s about what we get to do.
We get to live this life while so many like Tim Russert and my Mom have left this world far too early. We get to drive in traffic while so many are too sick to drive a car. We get to go to a job while so many are unemployed. We get to raise our children, even if they drive us nuts at times. We get to interact with our employees and customers and make a difference in their lives. We get to use our gifts and talents to make a product or provide a service. We get to eat three meals a day while millions of people are starving. We get to work on projects, answer phone calls, serve customers, participate in meetings, design, create, share, sell, lead and suit up every day for the game of life.
Yes, there will be challenges and life isn’t easy, but each day we wake up we get another opportunity to make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today. We get to uplift, inspire, encourage, and impact others. We get to live this life. Let’s make the most of it by remembering that life is a gift, not an obligation
February 9th, 2009
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be motivated to achievement by such a lofty goal as benevolence? I must confess, however, that in the early years of my struggle to succeed, my motivation was a lot more down-to-earth. My reason for succeeding was more basic. In fact, it fell into the category of what I like to call “nitty-gritty reasons.” A nitty-gritty reason is the kind that any one of us can have — at any time, on any day — and it can cause our lives to change. Let me tell you what happened to me.
Shortly before I met Mr. Shoaff, I was lounging at home one day when I heard a knock at the door. It was a timid, hesitant knock. When I opened the door I looked down to see a pair of big brown eyes staring up at me. There stood a frail little girl of about ten. She told me, with all the courage and determination her little heart could muster, that she was selling Girl Scout cookies. It was a masterful presentation — several flavors, a special deal, and only two dollars per box. How could anyone refuse? Finally, with a big smile and ever-so politely, she asked me to buy. And I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to!
Except for one thing. I didn’t have two dollars! Boy, was I embarrassed! Here I was — a father, had been to college, was gainfully employed — and yet I didn’t have two dollars to my name.
Naturally I couldn’t tell this to the little girl with the big brown eyes. So I did the next best thing. I lied to her. I said, “Thanks, but I’ve already bought Girl Scout cookies this year. And I’ve still got plenty stacked in the house.”
Now that simply wasn’t true. But it was the only thing I could think of to get me off the hook. And it did. The little girl said, “That’s okay, sir. Thank you very much.” And with that she turned around and went on her way.
I stared after her for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, I closed the door behind me and, leaning my back to it, cried out, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’ve had it with being broke, and I’ve had it with lying. I’ll never be embarrassed again by not having any money in my pocket.” That day I promised myself to earn enough to always have several hundred dollars in my pocket at all times.
This is what I mean by a nitty-gritty reason. It may not win me any prize for greatness, but it was enough to have a permanent effect on the rest of my life.
My Girl-Scout-cookie story does have a happy ending. Several years later, as I was walking out of my bank where I had just made a hefty deposit and was crossing the street to get into my car, I saw two little girls who were selling candy for some girls’ organization. One of them approached me, saying, “Mister, would you like to buy some candy?”
“I probably would,” I said playfully. “What kind of candy do you have?” “It’s almond roca.” “Almond roca. That’s my favorite. How much is it?” “It’s only two dollars.” Two dollars. It couldn’t be! I was excited. “How many boxes of candy have you got?” “I’ve got five.”
Looking at her friend, I said, “And how many boxes do you have left?”
“I’ve got four.” “That’s nine. Okay, I’ll take them all.”
At this, both girls’ mouths fell open as they exclaimed in unison, “Really?”
“Sure,” I said. “I’ve got some friends that I’ll pass some around to.”
Excitedly, they scurried to stack all the boxes together. I reached into my pocket and gave them eighteen dollars. As I was about to leave, the boxes tucked under my arm, one of the girls looked up and said, “Mister, you’re really something!” How about that! Can you imagine spending only eighteen dollars and having someone look you in the face and say, “You’re really something!”
Now you know why I always carry a few hundred dollars on me. I’m not about to miss chances like that ever again.
And to think it all resulted from my own embarrassment, that when properly channeled, acted as a powerful motivator to help me achieve.
How about you? What nitty-gritty reasons do you have waiting to challenge and provoke you into change for the better? Look for them, they are there. Sometimes it can be as simple as a brown-eyed girl selling Girl Scout cookies.
February 7th, 2009
Self-Discipline really encompasses nearly everything in life. Do you remember in school when you were given 30 days to write a term paper? Did you start it that first night?
Most of us didn’t. Instead, we thought about it every night. “Got to get moving on that ratty project. But I’ve got almost a whole month left–it can wait.” As time goes by, worry about getting a failing grade looms larger in our minds. At first the pain of starting the term paper is greater than our concern about the failing grade, so after a week we still haven’t started. Two weeks go by. What are we doing every night before we go to sleep? Worrying about that F. “I better start. Tomorrow I’ll get moving on it.”
A week before the term paper is due, the F is getting larger–but it’s still not quite large enough to offset the pain of working at preventing it. All of a sudden there are only three days left before it’s due, and at last the F looms larger than the pain of working on the term paper. So we start.
As you lay it out you begin feeling some enthusiasm. “This isn’t bad. I may get an A if I do this and do that.” When you walk in with your paper you’re happy, but you wasted 27 days worrying about starting. In other words, you operated at a deficit emotionally for 27 days when you could have been in the profit column the whole time. Move into the emotional profit column right now; starting today, get your priority tasks and actions handled promptly. Plan your actions, then act on your plans. Apply this determination to every area of your life and it will make an enormous difference in your income, growth rate in business as well as your satisfaction and growth rate personally.
The portrait of a man who was being called the Whiz Kid on Wall Street appeared on the cover of a national magazine many years ago. He was one of the first to put a conglomerate together, and some of the federal laws affecting business in the early ’70s came about because of the trends that his creativity set off. At the time he was 42; he was running one of the largest industrial combines in the country, the conglomerate he had built himself. So the magazine had assigned a journalist and a team of researchers to do an in-depth report on this entrepreneur.
One of the researchers went to the small city the dynamic executive had left 15 years earlier. A few items turned up there about an alcoholic with the same name who had been sleeping on park benches at that time. The researcher passed this information along, and as the journalist was concluding his interview with the Wall Street powerhouse in his plush office, the journalist laughed and said, “Believe it or not, a man with your exact name was sleeping on park benches and getting ousted by the police when you lived in your home town. I guess the poor guy was a real wino. Isn’t that something?”
The president looked up and smiled. “That was me,” he said.
The reporter was flabbergasted. “This can’t be. You’re kidding.”
The president of the conglomerate leaned back in his leather chair and shook his head. “I’m not kidding. The wino sleeping off drinks on park benches was me.”
The journalist stared at him for a moment and realized that the man was telling the truth. He also realized that now he had a whole new story. When his apologies were waved aside, he said, “I have to ask, what made you change?”
Listen to what he said because so many people fit this mold: “When I was sleeping under newspapers in the park 15 years ago, I knew that someday I would do what I’m doing now. I was just waiting until I was ready to start.”
Do you know how many people are like that? “Well, next year’s my year. I’m going to get to work then. You just wait and see–right after the first of the year I’m gonna start shaping up.” But, of course, the time to get going never quite comes for most people. They have good intentions, but are lacking the two most vital components of any good deed: the motivation to begin and a strategic plan to keep them moving forward.
You see, by not beginning, you’re not risking failure, but you’re also confining yourself to the level of success you currently have. If you’re happy with that, fine. If not, make that plan and get fired up!
If your potential for greater success is nagging at you, don’t wait. Time is flying by so fast. Start today to achieve the greatness you know is within you.
February 7th, 2009
- Defeatist (accepting, expecting, or being resigned to defeat)
- Cynical (contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives)
- Vindictive (seeking revenge)
- Blame/ Fault (who cares? what are we going to do now?)
- Wishful (do what you can to influence the deal and keep moving)
- Self-pity (get over yourself… complain less… especially to yourself)
- Worrisome (it won’t help, costs time, and can drag you down)
- Jealous (want it? earn it)
- Pre-argumentative (the imaginary argument you have to prepare yourself for the argument that may never happen)
- Post-argumentative (the imaginary argument you have where you’re quicker than you were in the actual argument)
- Procrastinatory (if you’re going to procrastinate, you might as well do something fun instead of thinking about how bad it is that you’re procrastinating… a waste of time)
February 4th, 2009
The most important thing you do for your success is to take control of the suggestive elements in your environment. Be sure that what you are seeing and listening to is consistent with the goals you want to achieve.
Listen Your Way to Success
Listen to educational audio programs in your car. The average person drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles per year which works out to between 500 and 1,000 hours per year that the average person spends in his or her car. You can become an expert in your field by simply listening to educational audio programs as you drive from place to place.
Take Courses in Your Field
Attend seminars given by experts in your field. Take additional courses and learn everything you possibly can. Learn from the experts. Ask them questions, write them letters, read their books, read their articles and listen to people with proven track records in the area in which you want to be successful.
Get Around the Right People
Associate only with positive, success-oriented people. Get around winners. As we say, fly with the eagles. You can’t fly with the eagles if you keep scratching with the turkeys. Get away from the go-nowhere types and above all, get away from negative people. Get away from negative coworkers. If you’ve got a negative boss, seriously consider changing jobs. Associating on a regular basis with negative people is enough in itself to condemn you to a life of underachievement, frustration and failure. Associate only with positive people. Get around winners.
Visualize Your Goals
The last thing before you sleep and the first thing in the morning, think about and visualize your goals as realities. See your goal as though it already existed. Your subconscious mind is only activated by affirmations and pictures that are received in the present tense. See your goal vividly just before you go to sleep. See yourself performing at your best. See the situations that you’re facing working out exactly the way you want them to.
Feed Yourself Mental Pictures
See yourself living the kind of life that you want to live. See yourself with the kind of relationships, the kind of health, the kind of car, the kind of home you really want. Visualize just before you fall asleep at night. The first thing you do when you get up in the morning is to feed yourself mental pictures. Those are the two times of the day when your subconscious mind is most receptive to new programming, when you fall asleep and when you wake up.
Here are two things you can do, all day long, to keep your mind and emotions focused on your goals and financial success:
First, listen to audio programs in your car and when you travel around. Continue feeding your mind with a stream of high-quality, educational, motivational material that moves you toward your goal.
Second, resolve to associate with positive, optimistic people most of the time. Get around winners and get away from negative people who criticize, condemn and complain. This can change your life as much as any other factor.
February 2nd, 2009
How to Stay Motivated by Dr. Denis Waitley
Be willing to say to yourself, “I´m on the right road. I´m doing OK. I´m succeeding.’ We too frequently become adept at pointing out our flaws and identifying failures. Become equally adept at citing your achievements. Identify things you are doing now that you weren´t doing one month ago… six months ago… a year ago. What habits have changed? Chart your progress.
Doing well once or twice is relatively easy. Continuously moving ahead is tough, in part, because we so easily revert to old habits and former lifestyles. Over the long run, you need to give yourself regular feedback to monitor your performance and reinforce yourself positively. Don´t wait for an award ceremony, promotion, friend or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis.
Keep the end result in sight. Always see the big picture of the ultimate goal you´re working for and the benefits that come with it. During World War II, parachutes were being constructed by the thousands. From the workers point of view, the job was tedious and repetitive. (Like making “cold calls’ on the phone or in person.) It involved crouching over a sewing machine eight to ten hours a day, stitching endless lengths of colorless fabric. The result was a seamless heap of cloth. But every morning the workers were reminded that each stitch was part of a life-saving operation. As they sewed, they were asked to think that this might be the parachute worn by their husband, brother or son. Although the work was hard and the hours long, the women and men on the assembly line understood their contribution to the larger picture. The same should be true with your work. Each thing you do benefits the health and well being of adults and children throughout the world, not just generally, but specifically. These are the visions that drive us through tedious details to the top.
Set up a dynamic daily routine. Getting into a positive routine or groove, instead of a negative rut, will help you become more effective. Why is the subway the most energy efficient means of transportation? Because it runs on a track.
Think of the order in your day, instead of the routine. Order is not sameness, neatness or everything exactly in its place. Order is not taking on more than you can manage, without still being able to do what you really choose. Order is the opposite of complication; it´s simplification. Order is not wasting a lot of time trying to find things. Order is avoiding a lot of recriminations because you didn´t do something you promised. Order is setting an effective agenda with others, so neither of you is disappointed. Order is doing in a day what you set out to do.
Order frees you up. Get into the swing of a healthy, daily routine and discover how much more control you´ll gain in your life.
Seeds of Greatness by Denis WaitleyProblems are a normal part of change. Things are changing so abruptly that there are going to be problems you face. So you must look at failure as an event, not as a person. I’m not a failure. Maybe I’ve had a failure or a temporary inconvenience. I’ve had a stumbling block, and the idea is to turn a stumbling block into a stepping stone, and step on it instead of stumble over it. So look at failure as the fertilizer of success.
Greet People with a Smile By Denis Waitley
Greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at the office or home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.