September 30th, 2008
There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life. Probably 85 percent of your success and happiness will come from your relationships and interactions with others. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
The Law of Attraction
In essence, when we discuss charisma, we are talking about the law of attraction. This law has been stated in many different ways down through the centuries, but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts.
You Are A Living Magnet
In a sense, you are a living magnet, and you are constantly radiating thought waves, like a radio station radiates sound waves, that are picked up by other people. Your thoughts, intensified by your emotions, as radio waves are intensified by electric impulses, go out from you and are picked up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength. You then attract into your life people, ideas, opportunities, resources, circumstances and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind.
The law of attraction also explains how you can build up your levels of charisma so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the people whose cooperation, support and affection you desire.
Perception is Everything
The critical thing to remember about charisma is that it is largely based on perception. It is based on what people think about you. It is not so much reality as it is what people perceive you to be. For example, one person can create charisma in another person by speaking in glowing terms about that person to a third party. If you believe that you are about to meet an outstanding and important person, that person will tend to have charisma for you.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
One of the most charismatic people in the world was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. In a physical sense, she was a quiet, elderly, frail woman in poor health, and she wore a modest nun’s habit. She might have been ignored by a person passing her on the street, were it not for the tremendous charisma she developed and for the fact that her appearance was so well-known to so many people as a result.
How Would You Feel?
If someone told you that he was going to introduce you to a brilliant, self-made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success, you would almost naturally imbue that person with charisma, and in his presence, you would not act the same as you would if you had been told nothing at all. Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder.
Lasting charisma depends more upon the person you really are than upon just the things you do.
Continually look for ways to improve other’s perceptions of you so that you can be more influential with them. Be a living magnet.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, be clear about the messages you are sending and the perceptions you are creating in others. Are these perceptions consistent with the impressions you want to make?
Second, see yourself and imagine yourself every day as an important powerful and charming person. Treat others as you would if you were already strong, famous and influential.
Fake it until you make it!
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September 30th, 2008
Regardless of the profession, employees and employers in every industry desire the same thing: recognition and appreciation for their daily efforts. Employees want to be assured on a consistent basis that they have made a positive difference in the organization. Likewise, employers want their workers to realize and recognize the effort it takes to lead a group efficiently and to provide a comfortable and nurturing environment.
Think about your own performance for a moment. Could your employer enclose a note thanking you for your contributions, support, positive attitude, willingness to accept change, communication skills, commitment to working hard, leadership capabilities, and respectful attitude and mean every word? If not, what changes do you need to make in your attitude and behavior?
Perhaps one of the most unfortunate commentaries on management today is its reluctance, fear, or lack of courage to let employees honestly know where they stand within the organization. It used to be that getting a paycheck meant you were doing a good job. That is no longer the case. Many employees mistakenly assume that since no one has reprimanded, counseled, or criticized their work or behavior, they are doing a satisfactory job. However, this assumption could very well put their jobs in jeopardy, because many managers have a difficult time honestly expressing their concerns and doubts about an employee’s performance-even at evaluation time. Therefore, you must make a concerted effort to identify for yourself where you stand within your organization. One good way to do that is to ask yourself, “Could my employer write a thank you note to me commending me for my work performance?”
By the same token, think about your current employer for a moment. Could you give your employer a note thanking him/her for creating a team environment, being a positive leader, providing adequate training, sharing the organization’s mission statement, identifying and embracing change, listening to your opinions, treating you with dignity and respect, and communicating openly and assertively? If you honestly feel you are not being treated well or compensated fairly, then you must address the problem immediately.
Many employees reveal that they dislike what they do and where they work. Yet they have done nothing for years but complain and gripe. Not once have they made the effort to move up, on, or out. Perhaps they think that all they have to do is stick it out a few more years before retirement. They tell themselves that they’ll survive somehow. If you’ve ever told yourself this, ask yourself, “Is mere survival all I want out of my job?” Are you really willing to give up precious years of your life simply because you don’t want to make the changes necessary to find a more rewarding job?
Most people want a job that is meaningful and worthwhile. People instinctively have a need to make some sort of significant contribution and to take pride in their accomplishments. Are you proud of what you do? Do you believe your work, your skills, and your talents are making a worthwhile contribution? Often employees will answer no to these questions because they believe that to do meaningful work you must discover a new vaccine, compose a symphony, or save a life. However, the fact is that there is inherent value in any job done well and with a sense of pride. Meaningful employment does not refer to what your job is, but to how you do that job in terms of your commitment to quality service, honesty, dependability, integrity, and treating others with dignity and respect.
Because today’s workplace is continually evolving and more competitive than ever before, now is the time to evaluate your circumstances and your strengths and weaknesses and decide where you need to make improvements to get the recognition and appreciation you deserve. The more pride you show in your work, the better your chances for staying employed. While there are no guarantees in today’s job market, employees who place a high value on their work and their environment fare much better. In the end, your future employability and job satisfaction are up to you. You and you alone are in charge of your career-and the rest of your life.
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September 27th, 2008
Salespersons are coached in the power of a first impression. Orators devote hours to opening statements. Journalists are admonished never to bury the lead. Sprinters practice racing out of the starting blocks. Interviewees are taught the importance of their initial handshake with a potential employer.
In leadership, as in many other areas of life, the beginning often determines the end. False starts and weak foundations can be ruinous. Here are five insights to help you start successfully.
HOW TO START SUCCESSFULLY
1. Start With Yourself
As Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you want to be in the world.” By starting with yourself, you build the self-confidence needed to attract and inspire others. Leading yourself well is a precursor to accomplishment, and accomplishment earns respect. In order to make deposits in the lives of followers, you have to have a beginning balance in your leadership account. Start leading by proving your mettle – to yourself and to prospective followers.
2. Start early
Sadly, many leaders squander their early years and spend the rest of their careers trying to make up for lost time. In leadership, as with finances, decisions made early in life accrue the most interest. When we choose poorly or establish bad habits, we put ourselves in debt. Then, we must not only repay our loans, but the interest on them as well. On the flip side, when we invest our time and talent wisely from a young age, we reap the benefits of compounding interest on our leadership.
Specifically, where should leaders start? What areas should take precedence at the beginning? From my experience there are 10 things you should do as a leader prior to reaching age 40:
- Know yourself
- Settle your family life
- Determine your priorities
- Develop your philosophy of life
- Get physically fit
- Learn your trade
- Pay the price
- Develop solid relationships
- Prepare for the future
- Find purpose for your life
If you’re over 40, it’s never to late to make improvements. Unfortunately, an old dog doesn’t easily learn new tricks. Undoing years of misplaced priorities and poor self-management will take extra effort.
3. Start Small
Don’t expect to understand what it takes to get to the top, just take the next step.
Think big, but start small. Doing so encourages you to get started, and keeps you from being frozen by the magnitude of the vision in front of you. When you accomplish a small step, you gain confidence that you can accomplish the next step.
The success found in starting small comes when you diligently apply the lessons you learn. As my friend, Dick Biggs, has said, “The greatest gap is between knowing and doing.” Commit to mastering the details under your control, and follow through when experience has given you instruction.
4. Start with the end in view
“Most people spend more time planning their grocery shopping than designing their future.”
~ Tom James, Personal Development Coach
To start with the end in view, you need energy and direction. Let your passion pull you forward, and let your planning give you guidance. In order for passion to be a driving force in your life, you must identify a purpose for you life. To locate your purpose, consider your strengths, interests, and past successes. What roles do you find most enjoyable? What brings you the greatest sense of satisfaction? Examine the areas that make you feel strong and angle your career toward them. Also, find people who have been successful in the area of your interest. Listen to them and watch their lives.
For planning to give you direction, you need to write down goals. Goals lend structure to your purpose, and they keep you leading “within the lines.” They focus your action and move you toward your overall vision.
5. Start Now
We exaggerate yesterday, overestimate tomorrow, and underestimate today. Embrace action daily. Don’t wait until it’s too late before you begin to pursue the visions implanted in your heart. Make each day your masterpiece; you’ll be surprised where you end up after stringing together a few months of superb days.
I’ll leave you with one final thought:
“How wonderful it is that we need not wait a single minute before starting to improve ourselves and our world.” ~ Anne Frank
Review – Five Steps to Starting Successfully
- Start Early
- Start with Yourself
- Start Small
- Start with the End in View
- Start Now
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September 24th, 2008
I feel close to my Florida family even though we are more than a thousand miles apart. My wife and I love to take an annual vacation to central Florida to enjoy a good visit with all of them.
I recall a special occasion during my Florida vacation when I had the pleasure to bond with my then fourteen-year-old cousin Rhett. Our trip happened to be right in the middle of his middle school baseball season. His mother was responsible for finding volunteers to perform a variety of duties at the games and she asked me if I would please be the booth announcer for the game.
Both she and Rhett thought it should be a piece of cake for me to wolf on the mic at the game since I had been a radio DJ for nearly eighteen years. I embraced the brand new challenge and willingly accepted their request. Brand new challenges are exciting for me, and this assignment absolutely fit the bill for two reasons: I know very little about baseball and I am blind.
Now, it is not as dumb an idea as you would think at first. See, I would have my Uncle Marvin running the scoreboard beside me and he has a vast knowledge on the subject of baseball and the jargon to go along with the sport.
We all realized that with his winning combination and some team effort, he could communicate to me what I needed to convey to the crowd. I was positively keyed up, and sat directly to Marvin’s right.
With Marvin’s help, I confidently announced all of the players’ name’s with enthusiasm. We got into a rhythm with Marvin passing on to me what I could say after each play. His voice didn’t come through the speakers because of my quick finger operating the microphone’s on and off switch.
I had a blast being the convincing announcer known as Baseball Blake for the duration of the game. Through Uncle Marvin’s eyes and his assortment of baseball lingo, I was able to comfortably and believably boom out all kinds of brand new terminology on this lively afternoon. No spectator even had a clue that there was a blind dude in the booth behind that microphone!
How do you face challenges that come your way?
• First, you have to be determined to meet the challenge. You can do it! Remember, as Joe Sabah says, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great!”
• Second, you need to have a team environment. I would not have been successful without my Uncle Marvin by my side. Who can you collaborate with? Who can you go to that will help you see your challenge a little more clearly?
• Third, when faced with a challenge – dive in! I love the saying “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well.” Do it and grow in the process.
• Finally, think about what worked well and how you felt about it. As you reflect on successful events you can begin to anchor those positive feelings and draw upon them when faced with future challenges.
I don’t know if you will ever hear me call another baseball game, but I am up for the challenge! Are you up for the challenges facing you?
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September 24th, 2008
“I say to you, this morning, that if you have never found something so dear and precious to you that you will die for it, then you aren’t fit to live.
“You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be, and one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls upon you to stand for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause.
“And you refuse to do it because you are afraid.
“You refuse to do it because you want to live longer. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab or shoot or bomb your house. So you refuse to take a stand.
“Well, you may go on and live until you are ninety, but you are just as dead at 38 as you would be at ninety.
“And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.
“You died when you refused to stand up for right.
“You died when you refused to stand up for truth.
“You died when you refused to stand up for justice.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
From the sermon “But, If Not” delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church on November 5, 1967.
Tags: incentive, motivation, reward, rewards
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September 22nd, 2008
It has been accurately stated that when you hire somebody smarter than yourself, you prove you are smarter than they are. We can apply that to all areas of ability. The sales manager should strive diligently to hire sales people who are better at selling than he or she is. That way they can share information and they will both be even more effective. Also, by continuing to learn from each sales person, the manager will stay one step ahead of all of them. Exactly the same thing applies in coaching. A good head coach seeks assistant coaches who know more about their specialty than he does and he learns from them. Ditto f managers in manufacturing, engineering, architecture, etc.
Many years ago Lawrence Welk hired an accordionist named Myron Floren. He was considered the best in his profession. When Mr. Welk told his business manager, he became furious. He felt one accordion in the orchestra was enough. Mr. Welk just smiled and said the hiring was firm. The first night the business manager heard Myron play in the orchestra with Lawrence Welk, he told Mr. Welk that the new accordion player was better than he was. Lawrence Welk smiled and confided, “That’s the only kind of musician I hire.” That’s the best way to get to the top. That also helps explain one of the reasons Mr. Welk and his “Champagne Music” spanned four generations of music lovers. Excellence and the commitment to bring your “customers” the best possible “product” are the predictors of long-term success.
The message is clear: All of us can learn and benefit from the knowledge and talent of others. Don’t be “intimidated” by someone with a more successful resume’ and don’t feel superior to someone who’s enjoyed less success than you have. Learn from both of them and I’ll See You At The Top.
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September 19th, 2008
Have you consider that the old saying “the only thing you can count on in business is change itself” is simply an evolving state of awareness? Consider that change is positive and be resilient.
In most change models there are seven common steps; 1) Purpose 2) Goals and objectives, 3) Current state analysis, 4) Future state planning, 5) Implementation of that planning, 6) putting it all in place as change management and 7) Evaluation of the entire process and implementation.
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September 19th, 2008
There’s an old saying that “by the mile it’s a trial, and by the inch it’s a cinch.” The reason the saying is old is because it’s good, it’s valid. If it were not, it would be dead and buried. For 24 years of my adult life, by choice I weighed well over 200 pounds. I say “by choice” because I have never “accidentally” eaten anything, so when I choose to eat too much, I have chosen to weigh too much. Every choice has an end result.
Twenty-two years ago I decided to do something about my weight and physical condition, so I got on an exercise and sensible eating program. Until then my idea of exercise was to fill the tub, take a bath, pull the plug and fight the current – and I know you’ll agree that’s not much of an exercise program! It took me 10 months to lose the 37 pounds I needed to lose. During that period of time I also wrote my first book, See You At The Top. It is 384 pages long and was the eighth best-selling hardback of the ’80s.
Let’s explore what I just said. Losing 37 pounds in 10 months meant that I lost an average of 1.9 ounces per day. Writing a 384-page book in 10 months meant that I wrote an average of 1 1/4 pages per day. You raise positive kids in a negative world, build a beautiful relationship with your mate, become a top-performing student, a world-class salesperson, or a top executive or educator not by a few mammoth leaps but by the daily, disciplined application of doing something every day to reach your objectives in life.
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September 19th, 2008
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Your kids are in school and sports. You and your wife are in the swing taking dance classes, traveling and taking your vitamins. Your parents are loving life as seniors longer than ever before, life is good!
As life evolves and our kids become teenagers, we age and so do are parents. Our parents provided love and support for us. As we see them needing assistance we want to be there for them, the love of a family just works this way after all.
During the next 5 to 10 years there will be a literal explosion of seniors needing care. Care takes time and money. Our children need our care and we must take care of ourselves too as we continue to care for others. Some families have given up having additional children, vacations and career advancements so that they can care for their parents.
In 2006, nursing home care cost in California averaged $190 per day. Length of stay in a nursing home at that time was 2 ½ years. We love our independence and this does not change with age. We live in a beautiful state with sunny days and plenty to enjoy. Your parents will do their best and be the happiest if they have a choice to stay in their own home with care. This may be a no brainer but over 40% of Americans over age 65 and 60% over 85 years of age will need some type of long term care. It is not an easy thing to talk about with your parents but for the well being, financial protection and ease of mind will benefit each of you.
Many of us and our parents assume that their traditional health insurance, Medicare and Medicare Supplements will provide what they need. We read our policies but really don’t understand that long term care is often not covered. There are many exclusions and limitations. These policies only cover skilled nursing care and do not cover custodial care which is the most common type most people need.
If you are under 65 years old there is also a need, long term care is everyone’s concern. The possibility of needing long-term care because of illness or physical disability is something many of us would rather not think about. Due to the fact that we are living longer, we have a greater chance of needing some kind of assistance.
How will our government programs handle the biggest amount of seniors needing care at one time? Taxpayers will bear the ultimate cost for those who cannot afford it or because they did not plan accordingly.
Some statistics:
· Average nursing home care costs in California can soar beyond $50,000 per year.
· 44% surveyed believe they have less than a 25% chance of being in nursing facility. However, Californians age 65 + have approximately 50% chance of entering a nursing facility.
· 1/3 say their family assets and income will be enough to pay for long-term care should it be needed. This is unfortunately often not the case. Many have very little contributed to an investment to plan for these expenses.
· Most feel their families can care for them forgetting about the stress and additional costs their children will experience caring for them.
· Over 55% with private health insurance believe that their policies will cover long-term care or are uncertain about coverage.
Source: California Dept. of Health Services
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September 19th, 2008
Is thankfulness a survival skill? Perhaps most of you would respond with, “No, Jim, thankfulness is not key to survival”, and I would tend to agree with you. Most of us have probably already solved the necessary problems of survival, gone beyond that and are now working to achieve our desires. But let me give you this key phrase, “Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.” I believe one of the greatest and perhaps one of the simplest lessons in life we can learn is to be thankful for what we have already received and accomplished.
Both the years and the experiences have brought me here to where I stand today, but it is the thankfulness that opened the windows of opportunities, of blessings, of unique experiences to flow my way. My gratitude starts with my parents who raised me, gave me an incredible foundation that has lasted me all of these years and continues with the mentors that I’ve met along the way who absolutely changed and revolutionized my life, my income, my bank account, my future. I am also very thankful for the people, the associations, for the ideas, for the chance to work and labor, and to produce results, all of that has brought me to this place, to this weekend. I’m grateful for it all.
What a unique opportunity each one of you here has, so many of us; representing different countries, nations and cultures, to appreciate the uniqueness of our own experiences that has brought us all here, together, for these three days to learn new skills and sharpen old ones. For the countries we represent; we have freedom and liberty. These are extraordinary times, about eleven years ago the walls came tumbling down, in Germany, and it started a wave of democracy and freedom like the world has never seen before. We as a country and as a world have so much to be thankful for. Always start with thanksgiving; be thankful for what you already have and see the miracles that come from this one simple act.
Now thankfulness is just the beginning; next, you’ve got to challenge yourself to produce. Produce more ideas than you need for yourself so you can share and give your ideas away. That is called fruitfulness and abundance. Here’s what I think fruitfulness and abundance mean – to go to work on producing more than you need for yourself so you can begin blessing others, blessing your nation and blessing your enterprise. Once abundance starts to come, once someone becomes incredibly productive, it’s amazing what the numbers turn out to be. But to begin this incredible process of blessing, it often starts with the act of thanksgiving and gratitude, being thankful for what you already have and for what you’ve already done. Begin the act of thanksgiving today and watch the miracles flow your way.
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